A Time of Love within this Blackened Land

Jake - February 23

"It's ok for you not to feel the same. I just do. Don't question it. Please."

Katie states with so much confidence that she makes me feel more of a coward than ever.

"For some time I felt like a little girl, but then I realized that if love at first sight exists, then this must be it. I've been infatuated before and this is definitely not the same," she goes on.

I try to think of something clever to say. I honestly feel the same way, but I don't feel ready to say it, at least not like this. I would not like her to think of such a moment as an empty 'me, too.'

Since I stay silent, she finishes. "I don't want to waste any chance of saying what I feel to the people I love."

There is a small pause, but not the usual stop-to-think pause. "So you did mean that you love me?" I tease her.

"What exactly did you think 'fall for you' meant, you fool?" she says as she pushes me away playfully and turns her back to me.

I hug her tenderly and place my chin on her shoulder.

After some minutes in complete silence she asks me about my obsession with my bucket hat.

"Obsession? What obsession?" I ask a bit offended, not really sure why. She looks at me with a smirk and I feel compelled to confess. "Actually, I'm obsessed with hats in general. You just met me in a bucket hat season. They are all from thrift shops... I like that they used to belong in someone else's heads. The idea that maybe, just maybe each of them has an incredible story behind it seduces me."

I can't figure out if her expression is of interest or disapproval so I go on in an attempt to avoid an answer that confirms the latter. "Remember I made fun of Sam's sweater collection? Well..." I say a bit embarrassed, "if you are interested I can one day show you my collection of hats, too."

As soon as I say it, I realize I've just casually admitted that she is in my plans for the future. I can tell she noticed too because of the shift in her stare. I don't know what to say or how to react so I just kiss her. It's a kiss that quickly grows hot as she plays with my hair and I grab her thighs. It's a kiss that was long due and turns our breathing heavy in a matter of seconds. She turns around and I pull her closer until her chest is against mine. I try to play it cool but, as I kiss her, I can't help but realize how utterly in love I am. I also feel like I need to do something about it soon if I don't want to lose her.

"Does our song You're the One ring a bell?" I blurt out.

She looks a bit shocked but also amused. "I do. It's one of my favourites, actually. Why?"

"It was written by Josh about a girl he couldn't express his feelings to. He imagined what would happen if she left and it turned into a great song. It's in the genes. We are pussies."

"You're also great composers apparently," she stated, surprised but without stopping to contradict me. "Did he say it? I mean... did the girl ever find out how he felt?"

"That's a story for another day. What's important now is that I'm falling for you too. It's not childish, not stupid, not crazy. It is going fast, yes. And I didn't expect this. But it is the truth."

Aaand it's out there. In the open. Finally. The obvious truth.

She looks at me with an expression that I would like to read as delight. She does not say a word, though. Maybe she is scared that I'll say something else and turn the whole thing against us yet again. I can't blame her. I'm a bit scared of myself too right now. We both smile and know that, as long as I stay silent, we'll be fine.

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Sooo, I'm back after I don't know how long. I hope you are still there and enjoy it! My style has changed a lot but I'm working on the idea I had come up with before putting this on hold. Let me know what you think!