Wonder In Chaos

"A Letter To My Younger Self"

You have always asked people,
with full of hope and determination,
How was it like
to be someone
who has got a lot of things in mind.
How was it like
to decide
without seeking permissions.
How was it like
to live in a world
where "big people"
are always walking on each of their own paths,
trying to find
comfort and contentment,
the things that they crave for more.
You were doing great.
You really were.

Perhaps,
You could've covered your little ears
from cruel mouths
entering the depths
of your innocence.
You could've gotten ready
To face
something you know nothing about.
You could've been less of a kid you were
when all you did
was to be great
and try to be great
at everything that you do.
You could've thought otherwise
that you didn't need
To prove anything.
What can I do,
you're just a kid.

A grudge,
you didn't deserve it.
I know,
you are cocky.
Even just tiny bits of it,
you still didn't deserve to feel
what is always felt
by souls
who are left along the way
You have always liked to be praised.
You are not getting any
by this time.

Somewhere
between naiveness
slowly engulfing by reality,
you're growing,
beginning to scratch off
the deeds,
you have always believed,
were atrocious.
Still did it.
You should've punched me at the very least.

It was a little bit late
to realise
that those "big people"
are just wolves
howling at the same time
to the same moon.
I forgive you for hoping too much.
For feeling so entitled.
I was mad at you.
I'm sorry.

I only got one thing to do for you.

I promise you,

I will try.

Please, forgive me

for turning out to be a person
you never wished to be.