Just another magical crack fic

The Middle Spoon

Annie and I were at the bar. She was my one remaining friend, and she was sympathetic in the best way she knew how -- with beer and nachos. I, once again, complained that Charlie and Jack ganged up on me after the fact, when I was clearly the victim. Annie, sitting with her elbows on the bar and beer in hand, tilted her freshly-opened bottle toward me in a small salute. I continued on about how Charlie should have been more upset with Jack than he was with me. Chicks before dicks and all. My tirade about the oppression of my agency got louder, and Annie looked up at me, brows furrowed, smirking, as if to say, "bitch, are you done?"

The fact was, I missed my friends. I was upset, and I think rightfully so, but I did believe it was an isolated, bizarre thing. I didn't think that they had it out for me. I didn't even really think Jack was interested in me in that way at all; I'm not sure what came over us at that moment. It's out of character for me to get so involved in PDA with someone, even if I was dating them. Far less if I was in a sort of brooding, though lessening, one-sided enmity with that person. The more I considered it, I was ashamed at how wasted I was that I would have a full-on makeout sesh at a party at all, much less with who I thought was my secret sex buddy. The cherry on top was that I had fully, though inadvertently, outed my relationship with Tate without his agreement, even though it apparently said relationship was not as discreet as I believed. And, the chocolate syrup on top of the cherry on top was that it all jeopardized my goal of helping Lana. I couldn't live on my high horse, and I needed to try to mend these fences.I couldn't rest on the idea that the ball was in their courts, or that they should come crawling to me. I said all this to Annie, in a quieter and calmer tone this time, who offered acknowledgement occasionally, but ultimately let me talk myself down from the disaster. The best friends know exactly what you need in times of crisis. Annie, with her voodoo and ESP, put her hand on top of mine when my words were exhausted. She lifted half her mouth into a grimacing smile, and nodded, instantly alleviating some of my inner turmoil. She returned her attention to her beer and her phone, as she is apt to do, and I stared off in silent contemplation.

After a little while, Annie put her hand on my shoulder "I'm going to get one more round for us, and then I'm going home. Are you good?" I nodded vacantly and thanked her. A few minutes later, I was peeling the label off a cold beer bottle, and a large hand patted my back and pulled me from my reverie. Charlie rotated around to the empty barstool next to me, a look of contrition on his face. Nothing really needed to be said at this point. We hugged and hugged, which is actually kind of weird for me because I am Not a Hugger, but it seemed right in the moment. I felt the fabric on his shoulder get wet beneath me, and he just squeezed a little tighter. Annie slid off her seat behind me. She patted my back and waved her goodbye to Charlie and disappeared toward the door of the bar.

When Charlie and I separated, I knew my face was red and splotchy, and maybe even a little damp. "Bitch, why do you have to ugly cry?" Charlie faux-scolded me, though his scoff was a little more hoarse than he would admit. "I'm fine, really. Just ignore me." I replied. His voice became more tender. "You're my work otter and I love you. You should feel honored to snot on my shoulder. Or at the very least you could try to do some cute princess cries."  He rolled his eyes and made a dainty motion toward the corner of his left eye, dabbing it lightly as he extended his pinky high. I wasn't sure if he was actually drying his eyes or just making fun of me. I laughed through a frog in my throat and replied, "I know, but Drake's makin' me in my feels." He barked out a hearty laugh at me, and I felt just a little bit better. By the time Charlie and I were making tear-free and easy drunken conversation, it was late enough that the house music took an EDM turn. The massive man easily pulled me off my stool and onto the dance floor. My feet shuffled as I tried to keep up with the tug on my wrist. He spun me around and placed his hands onto my hips from behind. I was still standing vapidly in my drunken state when I felt the air around my midsection stir as Charlie began to gyrate a few inches from my body. "If you put your boner on me, I'm going to slap you," I slurred at him. "You give yourself far too much credit, woman. I am clearly maintaining a respectable distance for your sake, and for the sake of the tall, strapping young man over there who will hopefully change my name to Mr. Middlespoon." I snorted. Oh god, how did I actually miss him this much? "Don't you have a ... a person, or whatever?" I huffed over my shoulder at him. "Sweetie, everyone has a person. And yet, we still dance!" It was after 1 a.m. when I went out to collect teeth, and I could still smell Charlie's cologne and a little alcohol on myself as I dipped out into the night. It wasn't my proudest moment, but I wasn't going to complain too much under the circumstances. One friend down, two to go