Bed of Lies (ON HOLD)

XXXII

WARNING: CHAPTER CONTENT MAY BE TRIGGERING.

August 2004

14 YEARS AGO

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Because I love you." I sighed like a fool too far gone in love. Maybe because I was one. "I love you so much, Tony."

"That's good because I love you more, Isi." His strong hands sanded the falling slope of the chair, smoothening its plane. "I'd hope you'd love me at least half of how much I love you."

I tutted, displeased at him trying to overthrow me from my summit as the true master of owning infinite love for one boy. "You always say that. Stop. You don't love me more than I love you."

The scratchy sounds of the sharp paper against wood halted as he peeked at me over his shoulder. "You can't complain, Isi, 'cos you always say that too. But we both know it's a lie. You can't love me more than I love you because you deserve to be loved more than I do, and I deserve to be the one loving you."

He did not return to his project and instead came to sit by me on the high bench, where my legs dangled, swaying back and forth since I'd claimed space in the middle of small pails of paint. It was heaven being with him, away from the throes of my reality.

I was glad to forget my mother's stupid boyfriend, how he was always watching me with beady, perverted eyes, how I was illogically terrified to be in the same room as him alone, and how this horror had peaked since this morning's altercation.

I shoved aside how I'd raised these concerns about him, and Ma still hadn't dumped him. There was a dreadful premonition that curdled my blood whenever I was in the same vicinity as he was. Yet. with Tony, all my fears and worries melted into fluff.

"You deserve to be loved genuinely, my Isi."

"When you say things like that, you know I can't win, Tony."

My boyfriend beamed, that grin that I loved so much, that extended his ears inches higher and formed spidery webs at the corners of his eyes. "I know. That's why I say them."

"Well, that's cheating. You've got my hands tied."

His lips stretched wider in their bewitching smile. "Then cheating it is. Now, did I say that you look mighty fine today, baby?" His eyes roved over me, recording my below-the-shoulders peach sundress, pausing at my black bra straps that were staunchly visible against the lighter fabric of my gown. They skimmed next over my bulbous boobs, which only him had made me see beauty in, then circled at my hips before exhausting themselves at my feet.

I straightened and patted my hair, slightly pluming myself as I adopted more of that New York lilt I'd learnt from spending so much time with him. "No, you ain't. Do I?"

"You do every day, dearest. But today, you look absolutely stunning, like an angel had fallen to earth." He grabbed my hand at this and pressed his delicate lips to its back. I blushed, my blood racing to the dilated vessels in my cheeks and neck. It was clear. No one could love me as much as he did. "Pray, tell me: did it hurt when you landed on the ground?" I giggled loudly, braids swishing to and fro as I enjoyed his joviality. When my giggly bouts had subsided, and they did quickly, my head found his shoulder, a solid rock to lean on.