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for a reputation that is feared by many, being hopeless romantic sucks, seonghwa likes to think.
he thinks of how disappointing it is for his wife to make up different excuses all just to get away from him to the extent of skipping breakfast, even if it meant everyday.
how his presence bothers her too much. how shitty he feels like that his own wife couldn't wait for him, even for one night, to come home, greet him goodnight instead of turning her back against him in bed to avoid any conversation because who would even dare to initiate when it's so late and the wife thinks all the husband cares about was his money and his throne.
but he couldn't blame her. he made her feel that way.
so, he doesn't get it. how could she talk so nice about him to her friends when she also made him feel like she didn't want him.
how hopeful she made him feel everytime he hears her talk about him like that with the people closest to her that maybe, somehow, she thinks he wasn't that... bad.
and he hates the feeling of his pride going all the way down for her every damn time.
like how she smiles to other people but couldn't even spare him a glance, jokes around with wooyoung or even yeosang but stays quiet when he's around, keeps her distance most of the time but would laugh at the lamest joke san would spill and even with the maids and army of him she grew fond with.
when will it ever be his turn to see that smile, to hear that laugh, and to listen to every little thing that bothers her or excites her.
when will he ever stop being such a party pooper in her life, because he couldn't take it anymore - how much she can go around and be all happy without his presence.
how she didn't need him but he needs her.
how much it took everything for him to admit that she was the only constant in his life but he thinks, she deserves better.
