The Book Thief 》Hemmings A.U

35.00

        "OKAY, WELL, BETWEEN the condoms Luke, Calum, and I have, I think we're good already and don't have to buy an extra large box." Lucy says, pulling a sweatshirt with "GRADUATING CLASS OF 2015" and a panther (what a weird school mascot) stamped onto the black fabric over her head. Following that, she shimmies into a pair of black leggings while Calum shuts his eyes; comfortably lying back, and I search for the condoms she says are hidden between her mattress.

      Eventually after huffing and puffing loudly as I try to work around Calum, finally giving up on the discreet looks, and flat out asking; he gets off of Lucy's bed and lifts the mattress half way so that I can reach around underneath more easily. Lucy floats around us and the ever growing pile of condoms on the floor, getting a pair of socks from her drawers and shoes from her closet as she finishes getting dressed.

     While he props it up, I push a pile of all different colored condoms out, each within it's own plastic packaging and plopping to the ground one after the other. Some are in strips that have yet to be torn apart into individual squares, but most are on their own.

      The three of us load as many as we can into our arms, and then we run downstairs, outside, and throw them into the backseat of Luke's truck. As promised, he has loaded one surfboard for each of us (including Calum) into the car and as instructed by Lucy, he has gone inside to retrieve his own personal stash of condoms. When he comes out with an entire box full, we decide that we don't need Calum's after all. I was partly worried, and partly relieved that at the very least, he would always be prepared.

     After acquiring two extra wet suits, writing a note in the event that Mr. and Mrs. Hemmings came home before we did, and locking the door on our way out, we are on our way to the closest convenience store. 

      When we arrive, it is decided that Lucy and Luke are in charge of snacks, and Calum and I are on the Vaseline and bucket. For lack of those grey, fishing type buckets one would ordinarily put bait in, Calum and I opt for a purple beach pail with a yellow shovel attached.

     It has googly eyed fish drawings all over it (probably because it's meant for little kids who want to make sand castles) and is overpriced much like everything else in this world, but we get it anyways.

      In less than five minutes, we have all of our supplies. They consist of the largest Vaseline the store stocked, the beach pail, two bags of sour patches, one bag of family sized Doritos, and jumbo double stuffed Oreo's. 

         Satisfied with our purchases, the four of us carry a plastic bag each and pile into Luke's truck once again.

          Finally, when we're halfway to the beach, Lucy turns to face me and arches a blonde brow, a trace of a smile against her lips "Alright, Kens, what exactly is this master plan for reunion?"

          "Well, it's not exactly a master plan. Rather, it's a plan, and it's more than I've had for the past few months that this divorce has been discussed, so, I'm going with it." I start, tying my hair back.

        "Yeah, what do you need Vaseline for?" Calum pipes up, ignoring Luke's repeated comments to get his "Fucking feet off of the back of his seat" as he gets even more comfortable and accidentally grazes Luke's head with the tip of his shoe.

         "Okay, sure, Calum." Lucy laughs, shaking her head. "Ask about that and not the two hundred condoms she swears we need for a non se.xual reason."

            "Here's the plan. I'm going to text both of my parents and make it seem like I'm in trouble or in danger and need them to get to the beach as soon as possible without telling the other parent. I'll lure them into the stand with all of the snacks and once they're both in, Luke is going to prop the front door shut with one of the boards while I sneak out of the back and prop that door shut. Prior to them being locked inside, there's gonna be Vaseline on the handles to make the doors hard to open, since the surfboards aren't all that secure. And above where my mom is standing, is the bucket full of tons of condoms."