The Book Thief 》Hemmings A.U

46.00

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       "SO I WAS TALKING TO my mum and she said we can try and get my designs made into actual pieces. That would look so amazing for Trinity and I just love the idea of wearing my own clothes. You'll wear my clothes too, won't you Kens?" Lucy gushes, grinning and squeezing my hand, the hand which she has been holding ever since she came into the room.

        "Of course I will." I tell her, giving her a weak smile as I squeeze back. She was so happy, so relieved to see me alive. She was trying to make it seem like the accident had never happened since it would be better for the both of us. That terrible, awful thing shouldn't be something that I kept dwelling on, something I kept fearing, or something Lucy blamed herself for. Chattering kept both of our minds occupied for the most part, but I still couldn't stop thinking about Luke and what he had done, what the two of us had become.

         "Luke told me." Lucy says quietly after a while, exhaling as she pulls her chair even closer to the hospital bed. All the while, her blue eyes are trained upon my face and her hand still holds mine in a reassuring matter. "You could have told me when it first started, you know. I could have made him give it back to you." I shut my eyes, trembling lips coming together. I didn't want to pretend or hide anything from her anymore. She was my best friend and I needed her, I needed her to help convince me that even though everything had fallen apart, it would be okay. I didn't even try and tell her that at the time, that so many months ago when this first started, he seemed so convincing. He made it seem like telling her would be worse than going through with the deal in the first place.

     "My future is gone, Luce." I croak, feeling my throat tighten. I shake my head and try to keep from crying, but I can't. I can feel my eyes pooling, and it doesn't take long for the tears to start streaming down my face. Everything that I had worked for for my entire life was gone in seconds. All it took was one boy and a handful of minutes underwater for that work to be wiped away. And I know it seemed stupid, it seemed like something I could easily get over because I still had my life, but I couldn't. 

        For as long as I could remember I was selfless. I gave people the benefit of the doubt and even when they treated me awfully, I still reacted with kindness and understanding. I didn't blame them and I didn't push them away, either. But there comes a time where I have to stop putting everyone before myself and maybe this is that time. Maybe it was time to stop brushing everything off like it didn't matter because the truth was that it did. I felt for Luke, I understood Luke, but that didn't mean that I could let every single one of his actions slide. Intentional or not, his losing my story was still a detrimental action towards my future.

       "No it isn't, Kendall. Your story is gone, and you can't associate that with the future. I know that for months you've been riding on this idea that this story and this contest was your only way out. But what if you had submitted the story and didn't win? Would that have been the end of the world too?" Lucy says in a soft voice, sounding so sure of herself that I almost believed her, too. "No, it wouldn't have. It would have meant that you needed to find another option. So that's what you're going to do, Kendall. You're going to get another option because there is no way in hell that we're not going to college together in the fall, got it?" Her voice is stern, and her blue eyes are looking at me with such intensity that it almost scares me.

     "Got it." My voice is completely unconvincing and try as I might, I couldn't find it in myself to believe what Lucy was saying. I wanted to, I really, really wanted to but right now, the future seemed so dismal.

        "Oh come on, don't bullshit me with that half assed attempt. Say it again." Lucy rolls her eyes, giving me a look that borderlines on irritation.