I can't believe I tried to convince myself that I didn't miss him, and that I didn't need him. I keep coming back though, against my judgement, because in the back of my head I feel like I shouldn't be doing this, that it's bad for me. But I still...
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I sit on my kitchen floor as I scroll through all my voicemails.
All from my mother, of course.
It's all, "Hey Devyn! Let's go get lunch!" or "Dev! There's this thing you'll absolutely love!"
Which is code for, I have no money and I kinda wanna eat some expensive shit and make you buy something that I want.
I just delete the messages, soon enough, she'll get a new boytoy and yeet outta here.
Hopefully.
I also haven't worked the last few days now, being at the shop just makes me sad now. The other day just made me realize what I don't have. And now Luke is all worried because I'm not my "usual self."
Oh baby, that's called coping. This, this is me. I mean I'm still funny as fuck don't get me wrong. Luke just says I'm not as, "bouncy."
Luke Luke Luke. Such a pretty boy. He's so hot. He's all tall and broad and oh I'm drooling.
He's also a good kisser. Very good, oh so good.
I miss him.
I open my phone again and go to FaceTime Luke.
I put my face up close to the camera as I wait for him to answer.
"Hello- oh what the fuck." Luke says.
"Hey!" I say excitedly, "remember that time we kissed?"
Luke chokes on air like a dipshit at my question, he then looks at me like I'm fucking crazy. I am, but besides the point.
"I don't know what you speak of..." Luke tries to differ from the subject. Yes, we aren't supposed to acknowledge it happened but like... it was nice.
"Well, we should do it again sometime." I tell him, "for funsies!"
"For...funsies..." he repeats me.
We stare at each other through our phones for a second, before Luke breaks the silence, "alright I'll be over there soon."
"Swag, I'll brush my teeth," I inform him, then he just looks at me weird.
"Devyn, it's four o'clock."
"Okay and? I didn't go anywhere today and I haven't eaten so like-"
"You haven't eaten?"
Oooooh I fucked up.
"See you soon!" I say quickly, I then hang up the call and go to brush my teeth.
I grab my electric toothbrush and turn it on as I put my toothpaste on it.
"You're insecure, don't know what for," It plays out.
That's right. I have a fucking Tooth Tunes toothbrush. But it's for a good cause, I lack motivation twenty-four seven , so my toothbrush playing One Direction while I brush my teeth is what motivates me to clean my pearly whites.
