Rating warrior cat OCs //OPEN!//

Mapletuft

                       Thank you daisyyyyyyyy  for submitting this wonderful OC!

Name:Mapletuft

Reason for name:Her prefix is Maple—because her calico fur has primarily maple-colored patches.The suffix Tuft—is due to her long,fluffy fur

Previous names:Maplekit,Maplepaw

4.9/5! Wow, I just love the name! I will just like to point out that the prefix 'Maple' is a highly overused so just watch out for that! The suffix 'tuft' is one I never really see which is good..?

Gender:She-cat

Rank: Deputy

Clan:ShadowClan

Personality:Mapletuft usually is loyal,calm,and hardworking around her Clanmates,but really she could be over-obsessive,selfish,or even manipulative when it comes to what she wants.

3/5. I see this a lot with she-cats actually. Perhaps make her a bit more absentminded when she wants something too, or she could feel a bit isolated when she doesn't get her way. Remember, these are just suggestions!

Looks:Mapletuft is a small she-cat who has fluffy,long calico fur that is primarily with many maple-orange patches and some smaller black patches.She has a short,fluffy tail and amber eyes. She also has a hardly visible scar near her neck.

4/5. Alright I think it is somewhat realistic which I do like, but I have NO idea if calico's can have maple colored patches so- still very realistic.

Family:Bluebell(Mother:A blue-grey she cat,they haven't seen each other since Mapletuft was 5 moons old)

I would just like to say that she-cats are a mix of their mother AND father, so her black splotches could look blue-gray when hit by the sun?

Spottedpelt(Father:A calico cat who looks similar to Mapletuft,except for having more black patches.They hardly talk to each other,but secretly,Spottedpelt is proud of Mapletuft)

Male calico's are just as rare as tortoiseshell males so perhaps make him a ginger tabby and Bluebell a calico. The orange would technically still happen in her pelt. 

Mosspool(Brother:A mainly white tom with grey spots of fur and amber eyes.They currently are unaware they are kin)

Not very realistic fur color, for Toms look just like their father but I won't judge!

Bluecloud(Sister:A primarily blue-grey spotted she-cat with medium-sized white patches and blue eyes.)Applewhisker(Son:A primarily orangey-red tom.He has a pretty good relationship with Mapletuft)Silvertail(Daughter:A silvery-gray she cat with amber eyes,She treats her mother like Applewhisker but is embarrassed easily)

Reason of Death:Attacked by a badger when she was off-guard

4/5. I do want to ask, what was she doing and how did she not smell out the badger?

Mapletuft was born to a former kittypet who became a rogue and a ShadowClan cat named Spottedpelt. She had been "found"(more like taken from her mother)by her father near the edge of ShadowClan territory. She had been kept a secret for nearly 5 moons,being nursed by her mother,unlike her littermates,as her mother only had enough milk for a single kit.Eventually after she was taken to ShadowClan,she became an apprentice,now named Maplepaw. At first,she has been excited to start her warrior training,but that excitement quickly faded.

How had the clan not found them out? I'm a bit surprised that no cat followed Spottedpelt or scented the milk scent..? Though, it does make it less cliche! Why was she taken too? Was her littermates too?

Most of the time,the other apprentices made fun of her and treated her like an outcast.Because of that,Maplepaw had tried to run away once,unfortunately she failed and was confined to camp for a moon. Maplepaw just couldn't comprehend why they punished her for something was caused by the other apprentices's actions.There was only two apprentices that Maplepaw didn't have a grudge against,though.Those cats were Ashpaw/fall and Redpaw/stripe.He had been just apprenticed a while after Maplepaw had been confined to camp.In only that moon,he had made an amazing impression on Maplepaw.He usually talked to her while fetching moss,or checking the elders for ticks.Soon,she lost being close to Ashpaw due to her final assessment being soon,meaning she had to train even harder than anyone else. Eventually,when the time came,she had caught a blackbird and a vole.Of course this meant that she would become a warrior,and would then be named Mapletuft along with Redstripe. She would continue to be a great asset to her clan,being the strongest among the younger warrior.

I do like the sound of this, but maybe she should still be a bit wary when they were apprentices since the others were a bit harsh on her.

Around 3 moons later,Ashpaw became a warrior under the name Ashfall. Now that they were both warriors,the two became even closer than ever then before.Soon,Mapletuft was expecting Ashfalls kits.Once the kits were born she decided to name them Silverkit,a she-kit who looked similar to Ashfall but seems to have some of Mapletufts white pelt.The other kit was Applekit,a tom who had primarily maple-orange colored fur just like his mother.

The fur color is a bit confusing, is there any reason for the names?  (Whole diffrent part:) Maybe Mapletuft and Ashfall kinda drift apart after a bit to add drama..?

*timeskips cause things get boring*A short while after the time Applekit) and Silverkit(Now Silvertail)had received their warrior names,there was rumors of a battle with RiverClan.She tried to talk to Redstripe about it,but she acted as if she didn't know.She knew she had to do something about the battle,but if Redstripe want going to help,she would have to force her,She told Redstripe about how she could be causing the death of her clan if she didn't,and how she would probably be punished for lying.Of course,this frightened Redstripe so he blurted out how a RiverClan cat had told her at the Gathering that RiverClan was as weak as they thought.Mapletuft was glad she had gotten the news out,but she felt somewhat guilty for manipulating Redstripe.But it was a whole other thing why that cat had told her..Mapletuft wondered if Redstripe could possibly be in love with that RiverClan cat,but she kept those thoughts to herself.

I would recommend to NOT do a forbid loaf right there since one already took place, and it just makes it less cliche. Maybe a young apprentice told Redstripe by accident?

After collecting more information of the battle from her clanmates,she figured that the battle was going to be soon.

By soon,it meant in only a few sunrises.The battle was short,ending after ShadowClans deputy was too injured to battle,nearing death.They were taken back to camp,but not fast enough,meaning a new deputy had to be picked. Mapletuft had hope that it was her,believing she was truly bets for clan.She knew she had a somewhat high chance.She had been a warrior for around 11 moons,she had amazing fighting skills,most of senior warriors were nearing the end of their service to the clan,and she was somewhat respected among her clanmates now that she had proven her strength in battle.And to her somewhat surprise,she was chosen to become deputy of ShadowClan.

42/50! Mapletuft is a amazing OC that could use some work! the backstory is a bit confusing at some parts but i'll let you figure that out! Are you making a book about her cause I would love to read it! Thank you so much for this wonderful OC and have a lovely day <3