Thank you Shadow_431_ for submitting this amazing OC!
Name: Sproutheart
Previous names: Sproutkit, Sproutpaw.
Name reasoning: sprout - For her small size. Heart - for her friendliness
4/5! I LOVE the prefix Sprout and the suffix heart, which makes this OC sound so cute. Yet I'm wondering if she was born the runt of the litter? Probably but still wondering. If so, it seems a bit. . . rude that her parents assumed she would be so small forever.
Gender: She-cat
Age: 82 moons
Sexuality: straight
Clan: WindClan. She's not it a custom clan.....YET
Windclan is my favorite canon clan! Please share when you figure out a custom clan too!
Rank: Senior warrior
Reason of death: Greencough
3/5. Really cliche actually. It would be interesting if she died from choking of prey, which I never really see.
Detailed appearance: Sproutheart is an unusually small tortoiseshell she-cat. She is not a long haired, but is fluffy. Her eyes are a beautiful mix of amber and yellow. She has more white than normal tortoiseshells, but has just the right amount so that there is not too much. She has tufty ears, with one black and the left one orange.
9.2/10. I like it and it's rather realistic but tortoiseshells can't have white, that is what makes calico's and tortoiseshell's different. So really she's a calico. I like the idea of them having fluffy fur, in my mind it looks all puffy and ruffled covered in tiny sprouts on purpose.
Personality: Sproutheart is a funny, social, happy cat, but can sometimes be argumentative and snappy when she's angry. She can also get mad easily.
6/10. This for she-cats is SO over-used! I know this is a good amount of flaws but it's quick and really cliche! Add some more, like how she has to prove herself better when she gets told-down, or she could be pretty confidante and bounces back even better when being scolded or in grief. And (excuse my 'and' PLEASE-) please please please don't make her snappy when she's angry! I this WAY to much and it gets on my nerves! Perhaps make her wary and holds more of a grunge, or acts rather calm then be rather rude to other cats after. Sorry this is so long, and if I sounded rude but I needed to address this!
Family:
Mother - Leafpelt; a calico she-cat with yellow eyes.
Rather realistic and I like it, but how did the amber-yellow eyes happen for Sproutheart if her parents only had yellow?
Father: Firenose; a white Tom with orange paws and an orange nose; yellow eyes.
I'm pretty sure cats can't have an orange nose, and I think it appears with a freckled nose.
Brother(s):
Berryfur - a light grey Tom with yellow eyes.
Stormtail: white Tom.
How did the gray genetic come in? Toms will look just like their father, so both would have orange paws and an 'orange' nose. Quick question too, is it actually a ginger tabby with white paws? I always see pure-bred's white with orange paws so I'm a bit unsure if he is or not! (That was for Firenose.) The name Stormtail is also canon for Bluestar's prophecy.
Sister(s): none.
Kit(s)
Silverbreeze - a white she-cat with yellow eyes.
Mossbreeze - A grey she-cat with green eyes.
I love how the sisters have a matching suffix, makes them see really close and by each others side all the time. Oh, wheres the mate?
7.8/10. It's a cute family and all but genetics took a weird turn between them. I got a sample picture of some calico/tortie genetics that may help a bit. It was sent by my brother for this and I didn't want to exclude it! (Ignore the thing on the top, he wants it the way it is.)
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Backstory: When Sproutheart was a kit, she always got in big trouble for bugging the elders. Her mother and father scolded her, but soon the leader got annoyed too.
A good but cliche starting sentience. What made her keep bugging the elders, all together not stop when the leader got annoyed? What did she do to make them so irritated?
They delayed her apprenticeship for one moon, which made Sproutkit, soon Sproutheart, very sad. When she finally got to be an apprentice, all the others teased her for being the oldest cat there, but still just joining. Sproutpaw then made a big effort to catch prey, and she soon did. Then, she made lots of friends with the apprentices and warriors alike. She never noticed, but Rabbitpaw always looked at her.
Why did the leader delay her apprenticeship? It would be interesting if she played a 'prank' on the elders but putting thistles in their bedding or soaking their bedding. That would get me angry too. Another thing that would be good to add is that she has something against the elders after getting her ceremony delayed. Perhaps even get in more trouble by not doing anything that involved them.
After her apprenticeship was done, there had been a hawk attack. Many hawks were there, and her brother, Berryfur, died because of one. Sproutheart then felt grief weigh over her like she was carrying a fox, and she couldn't get over it. She soon realized that Rabbitclaw liked her, so she became mates with him to get rid of the sadness that was weighing her like a hundred pounds. The grief stopped for Sproutheart, and she soon had kits. They were two she-cats, Silverkit and Mosskit. When her kits grew up to be an apprentice, she got to train another apprentice, Briarpaw soon to be Briarshine. When she served her clan for many moons, she decided to retire to the elders den. In her clan, and big case of greencough struck and she died along with many others.
38/50. It's very short and basic which is OK, but really misses a lot of tiny detail that could have made her even better! It was descriptive at the end which I adore, and if there is a book of her it would be sweet to add her joining Starclan and meeting her long-lost family and making it emotional. Berryfur dying saving Sproutheart would add a nice touch too but don't make it cliche and make her blame herself for it.
All together Sproutheart is a wonderful OC that could use a few touches. If you need help or ideas I'm here to help always! Bye lovely's! ^^
