a Stardew Valley fan fiction: The Proper Care and Feeding of Souls

Untangling

She lost herself in the trees

among the ever-changing leaves.

She wept beneath the wild sky

as stars told stories of ancient times.

The flowers grew towards her light,

the river called her name at night.

She could not live an ordinary life

with the mysteries of the universe

hidden in her eyes.

- Christy Ann Martine

There was never a day the four of them had dreaded more than this one. After everything. After entire lifetimes. After love. After searching for new words because friends felt insufficient, here they were.

Lugging Abigail's overstuffed duffel bag toward the train station, Sam looked up at his friend.

"Abs", he panted slightly for effect. "How're you gonna carry this thing on your own?" He looked up at her, a twinkle of tease in his eyes.

Abigail smiled looking back at him and showing off her biceps. "Dude, you know I'm stronger than you." She teased. "I'm just letting you be useful." Sam beamed back at her.

The day he moved to Stardew Valley, a scrawny ten-year-old with braids in her hair accosted him, demanding he teach her how to use his skateboard. They spent the entire day together, Sam, patient and encouraging, Abigail, fierce and determined. When the sun finally set, Abigail was bruised and bloody, her thirst for excitement momentarily quenched. Sam knew she still had a star-shaped scar on her left elbow from that day.

His whole life here had her in it. She secretly snuck pizza into his bedroom every time a girl he liked left the valley to go back home from vacation. They adventured as far as they could go, dragging a reluctant Sebastian along with them. One time, when they were in middle school, she took the fall for him when he pranked Mayor Lewis. She got grounded for a month and never ratted him out. Every time Sebastian broke her heart, they'd eat ice cream and play video games in her bedroom for days on end. The last time they did that was less than a week ago.

The four of them stood on the platform, the train mocking their prolonging of the inevitable.

Abigail had come to love Grace but knew it would be easiest to say goodbye to her, so that's where she started. Shoving the photo of the four of them at Stardew Point into Grace's hand, Abigail wrapped her arms tightly around her. Grace held onto her. It felt so unjust to be losing Abigail, and yet, Grace understood the callings of the heart and knew without question that Abigail was chasing after the yearnings of her soul. Despite the hurt she was leaving behind, it was, truly, a beautiful thing.

The lump in Abigail's throat had become ever-present over the past few weeks. Today, it felt like it might consume her. The first tear spilled down her cheek as she pulled Grace close and whispered, "Take care of my boys." Grace squeezed her tight.

"I will." She whispered back. Grace pulled away from her friend, holding her at arm's length. They looked at each other through tear-filled eyes. "Oh, Abigail." Grace's voice caught. "May your adventures fill your soul, friend. May they breathe life into your heart." Abigail pulled Grace back into a final squeeze. Oh, how she was going to miss this woman who showed up out of nowhere and turned everything upside down only to make it all right.

Sam looked down at the floor as Abigail approached him to say goodbye. He took a deep breath and raised his kind, blue eyes to hers. Already, they were brimming with tears.

"Abs," he smiled through tears, "What am I gonna do without you?"

Abigail laughed as she cried, "It's gonna suck for you, man." She pulled Sam into a hug, feeling his warm and full embrace one last time. He had been her rock these past eight years. He was her co-conspirator in adventure, her favorite competitor. He was the one who was there for her, always and no matter what. Honestly, she couldn't even think about what she was going to do without him, without all of them. Abigail felt Sam's arms tighten around her. She rested her head on his shoulder, breathing in his scent, desperate to memorize every last detail. Sam rubbed her back, something he'd done a hundred times, but this time, instead of comforting her, it made her heart ache. She leaned back and smiled through her pain at Sam.

"You can ship him to me if he gets to be too much, okay?"

Sam chuckled despite his tears. "Deal." Sam took a deep breath, trying his best to put on a brave face for his dear friend. "I love you, Abs."

Abigail allowed herself one last dive into his deep, warm, blue eyes. "I love you, Sam."

Abigail took a step back, wiping her eyes with both hands. "Shit, you guys. Why is this so hard?!"

Sebastian wrapped his arms tightly around her from behind. "'cause you love us." His deep, soft voice sounded hoarse. Abigail paused before she turned to face Sebastian. This moment. This was the moment she had dreaded most of all. How could she say goodbye to the person who was so much a part of herself she could not even discern where she ended and he began? The lump in her throat pulsated throughout her body.

Sebastian turned her to face him, but she couldn't look him in the eye. Instead, she planted her face into his chest and breathed him in. He always smelled like pine trees and strong coffee. Abigail wrapped her arms around Sebastian's waist, his arms wrapped tightly around her. She would've traded a thousand lifetimes of adventure if only this moment would last forever.

In his embrace, she relived every moment they'd spent together. She heard their laughter. She felt the dusty flowered quilt beneath her. She tasted his lips. She listened to him sing. She sank deep into his dark, soulful eyes. She saw their life together, every single moment shared, until now. Abigail felt the gentle brush of Sebastian's lips on the top of her head.

"Abigail." He whispered. "Abby....." His voice cracked.

Abigail lifted her eyes to his so they could hear the words he could not bring himself to say. His beautiful, dark eyes were red, brimming with a fresh set of tears.

"Sebastian." She whispered to him. "I love you so much." Tears streamed down her face. "I will always love you."

Sebastian took a deep breath, trying to pull himself together. Every ounce of his being wanted to beg her not to go. Stay. Please. Just stay. "Abby... I love you. You.....I....." The tears spilled from his eyes.

Sebastian reached his large hand up, cradling the back of her head with it. He pressed his lips against her forehead and breathed her in, pleading for time to stop. Slowly, he lowered his head until his forehead pressed against hers. There they stood in silence, the two who became one, slowly, gently untangling themselves.

And we are all

just fighting

to survive in a world

where

I miss you

doesn't mean

I'm coming back,

and

I love you

doesn't mean

I'll stay.

- Chloe Frayne

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WILD WORLD, CAT STEVENS