a Stardew Valley fan fiction: The Proper Care and Feeding of Souls

Chapter 4: The Rescue and Freeing of Things

"Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I'll meet you there. When the soul lies down in that grass, the world is too full to talk about ideas, language, even the phrase "each other" doesn't make sense"

- RUMI

When the sunlight of Sunday morning came gleaming through the windows, it shone more brightly now than it had that first morning. The windows were now clean and the new wispy white cotton drapes filtered the light just enough to make it pleasant instead of glaring. Grace no longer slept in the old small bed in the living room. She had perhaps overindulged herself turning the master bedroom where her grandparents once slept into a sanctuary so delightful, it was a wonder she ever got out of bed. Nestled deeply in her cloud of slumber, she felt an urge to leave the farmhouse and seek out some of the magical places she'd experienced as a child.

The ground crunched slightly under her feet as Grace hiked up past the farmhouse and to the east, where she remembered plunking rocks in the lake while grandad would fish. They would chat about everything from school to the city to what life was like when he was a child. He would never catch anything, though. Looking back, Grace realized the rock plunking may have had something to do with that.

After a few miles of wandering and almost admitting she might be lost, Grace turned a corner and the lake, glistening playfully with the morning sun, revealed itself. It was more majestic, more remarkably beautiful than she had remembered. The dark blue of the lake seemed to be literally sparkling with sunlight. Surrounding the lake, the landscape was forested, deep green trees with pops of wildflowers. Grace wondered for just a moment if she was truly seeing this, if she truly even deserved to.

The lake was quiet and Grace was alone. She walked along the water's edge, peering into the lake, taking in the reflection of the sky, the trees above, and her own image. She stopped and stared at her reflection. She didn't see what she expected to see, which was a girl with messy hair, a wrinkled t-shirt, and rosy cheeks from hiking miles to get here. Instead, she looked straight into her eyes and saw something she had not seen in quite some time. She saw all that she had done these past weeks, all the obstacles she'd managed to tackle, and all the unknowns she'd made known. As it turned out, she was more resourceful than she might have imagined. Deep in her eyes, she saw a light and a fire that told her that while she could not be certain the demons would ever go away, she as sure as hell was not going to give up the fight.

Grace made her way across the small rickety bridge to the far side of the lake. That bridge had always been the very best place to drop rocks for the biggest splash. It seemed so much smaller than she remembered. Once across, she settled on a large boulder, looking out at the lake. A fish jumped high out of the water and splashed back down, startling her a bit. A little embarrassed that something so small made her jump in her skin, Grace quickly looked around to make sure she was still alone. Out of the corner of her eye, she thought she saw a dark figure in the distance, but when she looked again, it was gone. Despite all that she'd been through Grace was more curious than scared, and just as she was about to venture into the forest in search of the dark figure, she heard soft slow footsteps approaching her from behind. She swiveled her head and saw two black boots.

GRACE

"I was trying not to startle you." The voice was soft and deep at the same time, almost a little husky like he wasn't all that used to talking. My eyes rose up to meet the owner of the boots. The first thing I noticed was his dark eyes. They didn't look unlike the ones I had just studied in my own reflection: haunted eyes that spoke of desperation to overcome. His skin was pale against his stark black hair, which was wild and hanging down just enough to cover his right eye. He was retreating within his plain black hoodie that loosely covered his thin body, his hands shoved into the pockets as though he were willing himself to be invisible. I was about to rise to greet him when he sat down on the boulder next to me.

"Uh, that's okay," I replied, suddenly realizing I'd been so in my head that I hadn't said a word. I wanted to say more, but I held back and waited. We sat in silence for what felt like an eternity of awkwardness. At first, I stared forward into the lake, but eventually, I could no longer help myself and turned to study his face. He had been staring into the lake, too, rather intently, and I followed his gaze trying to determine what had grabbed his attention. After a moment of stillness, he crept quietly to the edge of the lake and in a swift smooth motion grabbed something that caused quite a splash.

Not sure what to think, I edged back a bit on my boulder and took a cautious look into his hands, one of which was swirled with the ink of a tattoo that seemed to continue up underneath his sleeve. He was wrestling with whatever it was but it was all happening so quickly. Then just as he pulled away and released it, I realized what he had been holding: a big green frog.

"Fishing wire", he mumbled softly. "It gets caught around their legs sometimes and if you don't untangle it, they won't make it." The slightest hint of a cringe escaped him like he had revealed way more than he intended like possibly he'd spoken more words in that sentence than he'd spoken all week. I nodded, feeling rather stupid. A city girl has very little casual commentary when it comes to the rescue and freeing of large frogs in mountain lakes. He didn't seem to mind my lack of response and we continued in our silence a bit longer. In that moment, it occurred to me that he had not approached the lake to meet me. He came to save the frog and did it in spite of me being there.

Eventually, he turned to face me, and our determined, desperate eyes locked. I hate making eye contact with people. In the city, it's the number one way to say to a stranger, hey, mug me....murder me why don't you...here I am. Something about this didn't feel that way though. It was intense and at the same time comforting, like our eyes were sharing stories between them that our words weren't ready to speak of.

He broke the silence, "why'd you come here? I mean, of all places....?" His voice was riddled with resentment like the valley had wronged him, taken things from him he'd never get back.

I sighed. That was a loaded question. Maybe it was his eyes or the way his gruff demeanor made me think he could handle it or maybe it was just finally time, but I decided to be honest and tell him something I hadn't told anyone since I got here. "...I...uh..well, I was assaulted in the city", I started, "this man...one night....uh...not assaulted, I mean, uh, he beat me... and he raped me." Raped me. I had never said that. Not in all this time. My pulse was racing and my body was tingling. I took a deep breath. "Sorry, I've never actually said that out loud." I stammered, worrying all of a sudden that I had shared way more than he had bargained for. "I just had to get away."

More silence, but then he reached forward and placed his hand on top of mine. I flinched without thinking, but he ignored it. His hand was soft, cool, comforting. Our eyes resumed their storytelling, and I understood somehow that trauma was woven into his story as much as it had been woven into mine. As odd of a connection as that might have been, in that moment, I made my first new friend in Stardew Valley.

SEBASTIAN

I fuckin' hate people. I mean, most people, at least. They're always just full of bullshit, looking out for themselves. They don't give a damn about you or anyone else. Hearing about what some bastard did to her? Are you kidding me? It just fucking proves my point. 99.9% of the people in this world are mother fuckin' worthless. You'll never convince me otherwise.

I am an old soul,

Made of mellifluous songs

Under starry nights,

Of sweet innocence

Of stolen kisses

And a heart that resides

in yesterdays.

- Rajlakshmi

LISTEN TO THIS....

I WILL FOLLOW YOU INTO THE DARK by DEATH CAB FOR CUTIE

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AUTHOR'S NOTE:

Sebastian's my fav. thank you for being here. xo