Her choices were limited, a statement that had always been true, but Charlotte had told her there were two remaining - navy or burgundy. It wasn't that she had expected more, she knew black would be not only out of stock but out of her price range too. In Monaco, black symbolised too many things. Black symbolised sophistication and power and elegance and the drama that their lifestyle brought -- Alex might've deserved a black suit but, frankly, Juniper could not afford it.
Grey was out of reach too, likely because Charles swore he saw Lewis wearing a grey suit at his birthday party back in January and since then, they had been sold out everywhere despite the raising prices shopkeepers had attached to suits of that colour.
Juniper wasn't sure Alex would've liked the burgundy, so it had to be navy and when Charlotte told her the price even of that choice, she still sucked in a breath. She wasn't a charity case, she never had been, but for the first time, she hoped she had someone funding her from the background. The only thing she had ever taken came from Charles, who covered her rent. It sounded like a big deal in theory, but the landlord knew his family and that apartment had basically been gifted to him so it was only really as expensive as Charles decided it was going to be that month.
Monaco had always been a place where connections mattered.
Meaning the connection Charlotte had to a rental dress company mattered too. She had explained that she modelled often for this company and they allowed her to keep a few of her favourites from every shoot -- free of charge. She'd be involved with them for years, so left a few dresses shoved into the back of her closet that she didn't like anymore.
It seemed apt that one of those dresses would be Juniper's attire for the night.
Whilst she had never been in the closet in terms of her sexuality, sometimes she felt trapped behind the doors of her mothers' constant appraisal or her father's watchful eye, Kamri's disappointed gaze or Lilia's desperate grabs for her attention. She could barely control herself until Charlotte forced some kind of routine, so how was she ever supposed to control those around her? Her attempts to keep her composure in line saw too many emotions shoved deep into the back of her mind as if trying to suck the tears back into her eyes meant the reasons for them falling would disappear. But her emotions weren't pieces of fabric she didn't like anymore, they weren't dresses she could hide away and forget about -- her emotions were real and too many times ignored. The sadness became depletion became anger became guilt, she had been running with control bundled by her arms close to her chest and she had finally tripped.
So she took back all the memories and the emotions from the back of her mind as she faced every single one of them. For the most part, Alex had been alongside her as she did this but it wasn't a fact she'd ever consciously admit to him. It showed how much she had given to him in secret. With his suit being delivered to him by the company in a garment bag that extended the wealth the piece already exuded, she supposed sometimes she gave him things not so privately.
This became abundantly clear when she received her dress from inside Charlotte's laptop bag, strategically folded to fit into the tight space. She in return gave a promise, that she'd try to return the dress as nicely as it arrived but that there was every chance it would be ruined.
"You're convinced it'll leave your outfit ruined, and yet you bought Alex something so expensive. Something that means you'll eat a little less for weeks and you'll take shorter showers. I know you, don't try to deny it."
"Awe has so many different levels, Charlotte. This is just part of one of them."
+
Alex didn't believe in most cliche phrases, but, he quite literally couldn't believe his eyes. In reality, it had been something that encapsulated so many of his feelings that night. When the suit arrived at his door, he had recognised it immediately. He had seen Lando in a black version of it years ago at some Motorsport Awards night and he'd told June so many times how he had searched for a cheaper dupe. Here, the navy version laid out on his bed in front of him.
He wasn't the only person dressed in navy that night, though. He looked good in that suit, nobody could deny that, but as he opened the door to greet her it was an entirely different kind of look that settled onto his face.
He had never been good at using his words and as he stood in front of her, this hadn't changed. He wasn't speechless. There were so many compliments whizzing around his brain faster than he could've imagined but none of them felt adequate.
She looked beautiful. No.
Gorgeous. No.
Stunning. No.
Breathtaking. No.
Incredible. No.
No. No. No.
All the compliments in his head felt so generic and if Juniper Maddox was anything, it was unique. Alex had always seen that she was the girl who put her heart into everything, she allowed the very thoughts that fed her soul to manifest into reality. It was always a reality she shared too, where the smallest details of her existence burned into your memory for the simple reason that you knew she did everything to remember everything she could about you. She pitched the love she lacked as a child and forced it into abundance for her sisters, for Charles and for Charlotte. She knew what she wanted and she strived for it, the effort into her hair that night forcing him to realise she always worked hard enough to be the person who achieved, the person who got what they wanted because they deserved it. She was superlunary. She aimed for the moon and she surpassed it. It went beyond hair, it extended to their relationship which he could no longer simply define. If he could bottle how he felt up in that moment, he'd sell it in little jars and was convinced nobody would ever drink or do drugs again.
Juniper Maddox had always been special. Alex just hadn't realised just how special she was -- especially, how special she was to him.
"Are you going to say anything or are you just going to stare at me?"
"You've sent my mind into a spiral where no adjective is good enough." He admitted softly, trying to dismiss the creeping colour into his cheeks that he knew matched her lipstick shade by offering her his arm, which he could've thanked her for taking.
The driver outside clearly knew their destination as he offered the pair a smile before he allowed them to get in, and drove on without a word. He had barely even noticed their movements or the arrival at their destination. His mind was still with her.
It stayed with her even as they got out of the car and he hoped he had brought a canvas with him. As if painting this moment, the cliff edge lined with people as the water rolled back and forth beneath it and for miles onwards, would make it last longer. The darkening shadow of blue that tinted the darker parts of the ocean beneath them matched the details of her dress and of her eyeshadow. Making their way towards the edge, the lightest parts of the water reminded him of her eyes, which somehow had more depth than the ocean itself.
"I've been told it's the moment, right before you hit the water." She whispered to him softly as she grabbed her bag, placing her essentials and her shoes in it before she held the bag open to him so he could do the same. She pointed to a couple of people who jumped as she spoke. "It's safe, can you see where we get out?"
He gave her a nod and she placed the bag down.
"You jump, I jump Jack." She said as she nudged him before she offered him her hand.
"Like from the titanic? Are we about to fall in love too?"
"I don't know, he loved her first, didn't he?"
"That he did." Alex mused, looking down to the water before he looked back to Juniper.
There was that look again, she thought, the same look she couldn't quite place. She could've blamed it on the shadows of the night, but she'd seen it in clear lighting less than an hour ago. Maybe she'd never been given that look before, maybe he felt something for her nobody ever had before. She couldn't figure it out, because no sooner had they taken the plunge was his face as usual again, with a smile so bright she could've convinced herself it was midday again.
YOU ARE READING
CAPACITY FOR WONDER. | alex albon
Fanfiction"every time you try to fill the other with wonder, you give a piece of yourself to them, with how you attempt to do so." (IN WHICH!) june maddox decides to teach alex albon there is more wonder in life than ju...
