feelings inside

pain and change

   no one really knows how you feel. you don't let it show cause you'll scare them away. they don't know how bad what they say hurts. they don't think before they say anything. then after you've been hurt for so long, you start to change. you get bitter and angry. you want to stab everyone who's hurt you. soon you make your kill list and you start going crazy. you pace back and forth with a knife in your hand, waiting for one of them to walk by.

   you hear voices in your head and every sound makes you jump. at night you're afraid. afraid of yourself. afraid of people. afraid of the demon in your closet that you swear to god is real. you want to close your eyes to make it go away. but the darkness of your mind is even more frightening.

   you want to cry and beg and plead and scream to the demon in the dark to just kill you already and end the torture. But it never happens. you continue to live in pain. you pay to God to just take it all away. you don't want to be here anymore.

just end it all. please

let. me. die.

people look at you and they ask why you're not the same. all you have to say is "pain changes people" you know in your heart that you will never be the same. but maybe it's got the better. maybe change has made you a stronger person and now you can see who all the fake people are. you don't get hurt as easily cuz your heart had been turned into stone. now all you need is someone to make you whole again. make your heart real and beat again. sometime who will love you till your real again. then. that is when you'll truly be happy.