Y E L L O W_

the trouble of getting tattoos when abused before

He told me to undress
i panic
so i panickly undress
i can't even meet his eyes
he shouldn't see in this vulnerable state
he shouldn't see me
he shouldn't look at me
i don't want to feel his skin on mine
his skin covered in latex
warmth spreading from his body mechanism into my body mechanism
i'm freezing
freezing under his touch which is gentle and careful
but he will hurt and harm me
hurt and harm my skin
and leave permanent marks on my skin
i don't want him to see me
but i panickly undress
and it hurts
my body shivers and flexes under the pain
laughs escape my deprives lungs
laughs to cover for my uncomfortableness
i don't want him to touch me at certain places
but there's no way around it
i get nauseous and close my eyes
ifi can't see, i can't feel
just keep your eyes closed tilit's done
just keep your eyes closed
i don't want him to see me
but there's no way around it
i will carry his marks forever

-the struggle of getting tattoos when abused before