Y E L L O W_

all i want

why am i always running?

always fleeing?

there's no apparent reason

but i wanna run until my body aches and my legs collapse

i am so scared of everything

i can't focus

all i wann do is flee

flee and run

but i can't hide anymore

(I CAN'T AND I'M LOSING MY MIND)

it screams and screams

i don't understand why i behave like i do

i cannot reply even though i deeply want to

i cannot talk even though there are so many words buried inside me, begging to be let out

i cannot breathe even though my lungs in- and deflate

i cannot even be even though i am alive

(I'M LOSINH MY MIND)

i want to yell and run

i want to look into headlights

striking eyes meeting shrinking pupils

all i want is to understand

but how should i explain my mind?

when i cannot even decipher it myself

why can't anything ever stay the same?

i want to be alone.

everybody leave.

(I AM SO SICK OF FEELING LIKE THIS)

i'm losing control

(YELL SCREAM RUN PUNCH)

my skin aches for split ends

(WHY CAN'T BLADES EVER LEAVE MY HEAD)

i want to be over

(OVER OVER OVER OVER IT)

but i can never leave my addiction behind

all i want to do is hurt myself

split skin split skin split skin split skin split skin

why can't i be normal?

why can't i be average?

i want to cry

(AND SCREAM AND YELL AND RUN AND PUNCH)

(𝙷̷𝙴̷𝙻̷𝙿̷)

i don't want help

or saving

or validation

or anything

i want to be nothing

(I CAN'T FUCKING BREATHE)

panics rising and my chest is heaving

(I CAN'T BREATHE)

(FUCKING DO SOMETHING)

(A N Y T H I N G)