The Earth Laughs in Flowers

✨c h a p t e r the s e c o n d✨

Thirteen Years Ago:
The Real
•••
Spring of 2015
Clark

It was on a Tuesday when they decided to hold Maya's memorial. There wasn't a funeral since that was something she didn't want. I knew her the best, and I knew she wouldn't have wanted a memorial service either. After all, it would only be full of fake and heartless people claiming they were her best friend to gain publicity. It wasn't what she would have wanted, and it wasn't what she deserved. However, sometimes the living are selfish and want to hold onto the dead instead of let them be in peace among the stars. Nevertheless, I couldn't imagine myself not attending. Even if it was something she didn't want, I knew she'd forgive me on the other side.

I remember tying my tie in the mirror as I tried to see all the loops and holes I had to put the tail through just to have a decently tied tie. However, I couldn't see through my blurry tears, so I pulled the tie off and threw it on my bed.

Soon after, I also threw myself onto my bed and succumbed to the weeping and emptiness that I know would never be filled again.

Thirteen Years Ago:
The Hypothetical/
How It Should've Been
•••
Summer 2015

"I'm thinking Stanford," Maya hummed as she ran her index finger across my naked chest, tracing various shapes as we held one another after I helped her forget the twenty Google tabs she closed an hour before. "That's far enough away."

"For the spring?" I asked as my right hand reached out and caught her index finger. In response, she transferred her imaginative drawings to my hand as she traced over my palm.

"I'm thinking if my essay is good enough," she pondered before releasing my hand and rolling onto her stomach, "maybe they'll let me in."

We both knew she was lying. After all, this was Stanford we were talking about.

"What are you thinking?" I asked her as my right hand fell onto her bare shoulder. We both knew she couldn't bullshit me and there was something else on her mind apart from Stanford's essay requirements.

"I'm thinking," she sighed as she laid her head onto my chest. I almost knew that she could hear my heartbeat in her ear. "That I don't want to be far away from you, but I don't want to stay in Illinois any longer."

That was the predicament of growing up. You wanted to surf the waves of life, but you were too poor to afford the surf board and too stuck on land to swim. I was the latch holding her back from her dreams, and I knew I wouldn't be able to live with myself if she stayed in Illinois because of me.

Since Maya meant more to me than all the worlds combined, all the NASA job opportunities to apply for, all the hopes and dreams I too had, I choked down my pride and told her what she needed to hear.

No bullshit, no sugarcoating—only the truth.

"Then get as far from here as you fucking can, my love," I whispered against her hair as my voice broke and disowned me under the idea of losing the only woman I knew I'd ever love. But this life wasn't just mine, and Maya wasn't on this earth for just me. I was trembling—not just from our recent passionate episode, but because I knew she would strive and exceed far more than if she stayed here with me. She was the whole universe, and Woodstock wasn't big enough for her dreams.

She lifted her head and kissed my chin. I knew she saw my lip quiver, I knew she noticed the foggy tears in my eyes, and I knew by the shadow in hers that my words were her deciding factor. Not my emotion, not my love, not my sorrow, but my willingness to give her up so she could spread her wings and fly.

"That's all I wanted to hear," she promised as her mouth broke into a grin. "That you weren't selfish enough to keep me here. That's why I choose you, Clark. I would always choose you."

She leaned up to kiss me again, but this time her mouth found mine; and we exploded into an aura of color as I cried against her softly.

She didn't need me, but she chose me. I needed her, and I chose her. A life without her would be too unbearable, and I wept more as we became a mess of entangled limbs and love for the second time that afternoon.