a thousand words

prolouge/ chapter 1

Moving.

I had know for about two months, but it didn't feel real. It wasn't something I really wanted to do but here I was.

Finishing packing all my things into boxes and watching my room turn into what would now be remembered as my 'childhood bedroom'. It honestly hurt more than I expected it to.

Watching the room be stripped of any sort of personal touch I had added over the years and just be left as the same old carpet, and lilac purple walls.

"Are you almost done packing Charlotte?"

"Almost mom, I just have a box or two left!" I scream sticking my head out the door so she could hear me.
It was true, I was almost done packing. I just needed to take down a couple of more posters, pictures, and canvases on my walls and then put all the books and cds that I had in my bookshelf in a box. I'd be finished in less than an hour.

Putting away the last poster I took one last glance around my room. It looked so empty and boring. I quickly found myself feeling uncomfortable and out of place so I walked down stairs to see if my mom needed any help packing anything.

"Oh hey hun, I was just about to go up and ask you if you wanted to go eat when I finished this box." she tells me picking up the box and placing it on the counter.

"Oh cool I was just going to ask you if you needed help, but yeah I'm pretty hungry too." I say fidgeting with my hoodie strings.

"I'm done for today honestly, just pass me the tape mija. Once i finish closing this box up we can go wherever you want." she tells me as she tapes up the box and pushes it aside.

We ended up settling on getting Panda express. Both of us wanted to go eat at a Chinese Buffet since it was Friday and we usually did that, but we didn't really feel like changing into something that wasn't shorts and a dirty t-shirt, so we compromised.

Which I didn't mind today honestly.

Sometimes being crowded around so many people at a restaurant during the weekends made me a little anxious, especially after a long day — like today — so I was more than okay with eating at home.

Once we got back home from picking up our food we decided to watch criminal minds while we ate.

About an episode and a half later we both finished eating and ended up talking about how we had to pack everything into the moving truck tomorrow and which boxes still needed to be sealed off in the morning before we left.

"Packing is more tiring than I thought." my mom says barely loud enough so I could hear her over the tv as she walked into the kitchen.

"Tell me about it." I say lightly chuckling as I walked behind her to throw my plate away as well.

"If we're going to get out of the house before 9am you need take a shower either now, or set an alarm to wake up extra early tomorrow because we have to be on the road by 8:30 at the latest." she tells me rinsing her hands off.

"Oh, yeah I was going to ask you if you wanted to shower first actually." I tell her.

"Nope, go ahead I was just gonna go get ready for bed, if I don't see you 'till the morning, goodnight mija." she tells me giving me goodnight kiss on my forehead.

With her telling me she wasn't gonna shower I decided to just take my time showering, it was just my mom and I so I didn't have to worry too much about wasting water anyways.

About 30 minutes later I finished taking a shower, and I made a beeline to my room. Once I found all my stuff in my suitcase I untangled my hair and did my skincare routine — which in reality was just putting on face cream— and double checked to put everything back.

Making sure to plug in my phone to charge so it could be ready for the trip I made sure to check to see if my alarm was on for tomorrow morning, even though I knew my mom was gonna wake me up before my alarm even went off.

Finally laid down.

Tomorrow was a big day, we were moving.

I still couldn't believe it somehow.

I kind of suspected we were moving about 6 months ago.

I walked to the kitchen at 3am for a drink and saw my mom slumped on the table practically on top of her laptop. When I was trying to get her off from on top of her laptop it turned on and I saw a real estate website.

At the time I figured maybe she was just bored and looking at the fancy rich houses, or maybe she was online shopping and accidentally clicked one of those ads on the side and fell asleep right after.

It wasn't till 4 month passed by that she brought it up. I wasn't mad at her or sad that we had to move, I was just ... curious as to why she didn't tell me sooner.

It's not that I didn't want to move, but I wasn't completely for the idea either.

I didn't have any friends so I wasn't too worried about that honestly.

All my middle school friends changed, we stopped liking the same things and drifted apart, and same goes with the 2 friends I thought I made in high school.

I say thought because they thought teasing me to seek approval from the 'popular' kids was more important, so eventually I stopped hanging out with them.

Oddly enough I didn't hate any of them for what they did, I kind of understood it was just a part of growing up, and I knew it wasn't personal when they made fun of me — I was the lesser known friend — I was new to the friend group and easy to embarrass.

Eventually they apologized and I accepted their apology, but continued to stay to myself. I was still on good terms with everyone — middle and high school —, we just weren't friends.

With that being said I unfollowed and blocked them about half a week ago when I stopped showing up to school.

Like I said before, I had nothing against them, my mind just told me it was easier this way.

I figured it was easier to move in and get situated in a new city if you didn't have anything weighing you down. If I didn't have the mental toll of them being able to keep tabs on me no matter how far away I was.

Wow I didn't realize how exhausted I really was until now, i notice checking the time on my phone and pulling myself away from my thoughts.

11:38pm.

I had to be up in about 8 hours so I decided against scrolling through Pinterest and just getting some rest knowing tomorrow was gonna be even more exhausting than today was. I closed my eyes hoping I would just fall asleep quickly without overthinking about tomorrow.

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A/N: ahhh first official chapter !! how did you guys like it?