this side of paradise , kiara carrera

three, fishing

tw: abuse, underage
drinking & smoking

"IM GOING surfing, see you some time in the future, i guess?" i say while taking the last sip of my beer.

"im coming with you" kiara stands up, taking her surfboard and following me.
"cool" she laughs.

"you were gone for so long" kiara says as if she still doesn't believe it is me.

"dude, i missed you oh my god" i say while laughing "i think your friends don't like me though" i add.

"well, i think jj likes you a lot, and considering you're a kook, it's not usual. i mean jj liking a kook? pope is so fun once he gets comfortable around you and john b is having a hard time right now- im sure he'll like you if he gives you a chance"

we were now on the water, still discussing.

"i mean, jj's pretty cool. he actually saved me, not that i wanted, it's okay if i had died but still" we both laugh, kie not taking my statement seriously, obviously. although she may should have.

"hey kie! lea!" the blonde was running towards them.

"ello man" i say and kiara waves. he dives into the water, soon reaching us.

"don't you dare." kiara says, starting to swim away from jj.

"what th-" aand, under the surface. she comes back, opening her eyes to see both me and jj laughing.

"fuck you dude!" she laughs, trying to push jj under the water, but failing "and fuck you too, lea!"

"oh you'd sure love to" i roll my eyes, jj gagging, pretending to be in shock.

we spent some time chatting and before i realize, it is noon. shit. my parents are gonna kill me.

"guys?" i say to get their attention. they stop chatting, turning around to look at me. "i need to go home. but i don't know how long it will be before im back" i say and smile.

"don't disappear again, please"

"i promise, kie" she pulls me into a hug, catching me off guard. i wrap my hands around her and moments later, we let go of each other. i look at jj and he opens his arms for me. lastly, i greet pope and john b, they're not as friendly but they're alright.

then, i start walking towards my house i can feel the anxiety growing as i reach my house, knowing i'll have to face my parents. what's the worst about it; i get triggered. and then everything blacks out and it's only me, drinking or smoking or punching the walls till i bleed.

-

i take a deep breath and open the door. everyone's in the living room, nice. i don't say a word, instead, i quickly head upstairs to my room, avoiding eye contact.

"where have you been?" i hear my mother saying.

"outside" i keep walking to my room. she grabs my wrist, stopping me.

"you're hurting me" i say in a kinda calm tone. as long as noone is shouting, im okay.

"nice"

"you can now let go of me" i say in an ironic tone. she twists my hand and then leaves. i quickly go to the kitchen, grabbing a bottle of vodka and then head to my room. i know the whole thing is not over. now the shouting and hitting everything will take place, then she will start repeating the same bullshit but with different words while im locked up in my room, drinking and smoking. or maybe i could leave and do exactly the same thing at the beach. i think that's a better plan.

i leave my room, jumping out of my window, carrying the bottle of vodka with me and my tobacco.

sorry for the really late update i swear i haven't given up on this book