FOLDED SECRETS

FEAR

Switching off the light I sat on the bed. Tapping on the screen of my phone, I realized it was already mid night. The silver lightning brightened up my room entering through my opened windows. The moon indeed was a full moon.

I rolled my eyes to have a good view of the familiar room I was sitting in but those countless thoughts still dominated my mind for which I was suffering since last week.

I looked at the pillow and on the very next moment I put my head on it. With a heavy breathe I took a fetal position lying on bed by curling up on one side with the knees bent. Pulling the bolster near me, I placed it between my knees to relieve pressure from my hips.

I didn't wanted to do the same things that I was continuously doing these days. There was not much difference but I only hoped that next day would be a little better.

My eyes burned when I tried hard to open it. The room looked brighter now and the very next moment I realized it was morning already.

Again another night passed by while I didn't SLEEP at all.....

"Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain." I read those sentences yesterday from a book which I found inside the old rags placed with the clothes of my grandmother.

She was an exorcist by profession and had performed numerous religious and spiritual practices of evicting demons, jinns and other spiritual entities. She was renowned in the village. Apart from this, she was the only guardian of mine. After my parents death, she was the one and only world for me. (If you have already realized that I am using the word 'was' for my grandmother, is so because she died last month while performing a ritual. Her death still remained a mystery though.)

I was disturbed by some thoughts and my mind was always full of rubbish thoughts these days after her demise. My friends called me numerous times to return to the city where I worked as a part timer since last two years. I came here to bid the last farewell to her a few weeks ago but got carried away by some unknown lingering feelings that made me stay in this house.

The bed we shared together , the books she read , her clothes and shoes, her personal tools, all  binded me with her immortal thoughts. Now the kitchen seemed too quiet and unusual without her. I could not close my eyes as I could feel her presence near me. I had goosebumbs every time I sensed her presence near me. It might be my lingering emotions that I felt like that or maybe she....she....wanted to say something???

These were all the thoughts that were running on my mind since last few weeks and for which I had sleepless nights. But now I am clueless as well as helpless. I am kind of pissed off now. I know I have to move on and go back to my usual routine. I want to do so but something stops me.

Oh yes!! How can I forget this?? Not long ago I found a photo of a young girl inside the rags that belonged to my grandmother. When I turned the photograph, I saw something written on it, 'Royang should marry Amy.'

What??? Why the hell is my name mentioned???And why would I marry her??? By the way, who is she?? And how come grandmother never mentioned about her before?? Is it related to her death mystery?? To know all these answers, I must first find this photo girl.

But...umm...it doesn't matter how many times I go through the photo, I am clueless about her? I decided to enquire about this to a friend of my grandmother who was also an exorcist and she used to help my grandmother in performing her rituals.

When I showed her the photo and those words, she not only told me who the girl was but also took me to see her house from outside. The girl named Amy was in my age group and she lived with her parents. I had blurred images of the girl who looked quite a beauty. Their house looked shabby and cheap. I stayed there no more and left from the scene.