I love you since 2002 ☦︎ KageHina Au

Chapter 3

Kill or Live?

3.

Kageyama

     "You really are not good with alcohol, e?" Suga started while chuckling. He pours me another drink while he drunk his last glass. We sat in that bar stool for about awhile now just getting drunk and talking to each other with some useless topics. Because of that, the alcohol kissed my problems away. Well, shit. Not actually since I mentioned it again right now.

     "That's your last drink, Kageyama. You're already drunk." He moved the last bottle of alcohol away from me so I won't able to reach it. I darted him a glare and was about to stand up to get the bottle, but he stopped me by grabbing my shoulders and made me sat back with full force.

     He looked at me dead serious and say, "Listen to me. You're drunk."

     I only stare at him motionless and didn't even bother to break our eye cantact. I ended up thinking we're having an eye contact contest. Whoever look away will lose. Man, I wish he will look away so I can have my another bottle.

"I know something happened in your home."
"So?"
"If you will tell me or not, it's fine. But drinking alcohol to forget about it won't work at all. Believe me."
"What if I don't?"

     He sighed before toring his long ass candle fingers through his ash wavy hair. I bet they smell good.

     "Alcohol will help you forget them for now, but they won't be long because your problems will chase you again,. And what are you gonna do about that? Drink again until you die?" he stated. But his words fell in deaf ears. "If you wanna kill yourself, don't do it that way. Just straight kill yourself than making yourself suffer," he added befero loosing his grip onto my shoulders.

     "You have a point. Why don't I just straight kill myself?" I mumbled, hearing myself sounded drunk.

     I chuckled before looking around, trying to find the bartender.

     "Psst!" I called out. The bartender looked at our direction. "Do ya have a knife?"

     The bartender looked at me confused, but he still handed me a pocket knife.

     "What the fuck are you gonna do?" Suga interrogated which I ignored.

     I stare at the knife in my hand and played with it for a moment, looking at my reflection in the pocket knife and saw how red my face is. Because of alcohol of course.

     "If I stab myself with this pocket knife, will it bleed and hurt me?" I asked with my back facing him. "If I die, will they truly care and cry for me?"

"Stop asking nonsense. Are you gonna commit suicide right now?"
"Yeah.."

     He scoffed before I heard him placed his glass down. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah.."
"Why don't you try it by jumping off the river?"
"Why river?"
"In that way, you will find yourself swimming back up in the surface after you felt running out of oxygen. You will realized you don't want to die. If you really wanna die, why did you bother swimming back up to get some oxygen?"
"But I'm not sure anymore."
"When you're not sure, flip a coin because when then coin is in the air, you realize which one you're actually hoping for."

     That night ended with Suga lecturing me. After he drink some more, he took the knife away from my hand and handed it back to the bartender. We left that place with Suga carrying me from behind and everything turned black after that.