Chain Obsessions

Chapter 10: The path of lonely pain

Chapter 10
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Present day...☠

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Madelyn...☠

The night air is cold whiles I just rest and lean against the tree trunk. The pain from the cuts now starting to register but the numbness of it too much and overwhelming. I felt my blood stick to my skin. I've never gone this far to draw attention from my Justin and he knows it but he pushed me to the edge.

It was funny actually. I was obsessed for his attention and he was obsessed for my craving for his attention. I know I did this to him and he did this to me but neither of us were prepared to accept our faults, actually it was just me. He accepted his from the very beginning things started to go down south. Sometimes I felt that before I finally do accept my faults it would be too late but I didn't care. He will always be there for me.

"Princess?"

And there it was. What I've been waiting for, for so many hours now. His deep voice holding so much concern and hurt. I bet he was a crying wreck driving all around the city looking for me. I took a deep breath not giving him the satisfaction of moving an inch. His feet scrunched against the dried leaves as he slowly approached me from behind.

"Oh princess you scared the shit out of me." His voice cracked. Yhp he was definitely crying just wait till you see what I did to myself Juju. Just for you only. If only he knew. He won't dare pull that stupid stunt on me ever again.

This is what he wanted. To see me so vulnerable so he could always do what he was good at. Protecting and being there for me. I exhaled softly and slowly looked up to the dark glowing sky.

"You were quiet when mom defended you" Seriously Madelyn? Of all the things you're feeling this is what you could ask?, Wow.

This was one of the many problems I wanted him to take responsibility for. I hated that he did this to me and messed up my once cheerful life but I also hated myself for doing this to myself and to him. Now I couldn't sleep without the thoughts of the night of him forcing himself on me haunting me. How I flinched whenever someone apart from him approached me. I couldn't talk to anyone without sounding rude or emotionless. I wanted to peel my skin. I stayed up every night wishing for and to be something and someone I could never have or be.

My mom set me up with a psychologist. Said I needed the therapy and she was sorry this had to happen to me. This evening was her very first time see me act crazy and distant in front of her. Back at home she was always called to the hospital. Today I witnessed the horror in her eyes. I didn't know why but I didn't feel anything when I saw her in that state but I knew she seeing her little girl break and become this way hurt her more than the memory of my father.

I hated and loved the fact that even when he destroyed me he was still there. He forced and stuck by me always apologizing to me for what he did but that's not what I wanted. I wanted him to own up for his faults. Let everyone know he was responsible for doing this to me and me to him.

"Maddy I'm sorry"

There it was again. Always apologizing but it always and never made me feel better at the same time. He was always being held the victim to my claims. I hated the fact that he made it seem like it wasn't my fault and that he still loved me no matter what. He always made it clear that I was his and he loved me.

Mom was a sobbing mess when he declared he loved me that night and nothing could change that. His father patted his back with pride whilst I on the other hand slapped him and thrashed against his chest but all he did was hug me close saying soothing things to me and how he will never leave. I broke down sinking to the floor, he followed suit still hugging me to his chest before I passed out.