Chain Obsessions

Chapter 21: I love him

Chapter 21
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Present day...

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Madelyn...☠

My throat hurt and the burning irritation with my skin wasn't helping. Every second that ticked by I could feel my airway being blocked and seemingly starting to swell, but I wouldn't miss this meal for the world. I couldn't tell how grateful I was to have allergic reactions to blueberry, Justin's favorite fruit. I was currently swallowing a fork of my blueberry pancake as I felt everything around me blur.

I watched my alarmed mother who was at the verge of tears and just looked back down at my pancakes with a genuine smile, picking up my glass of water and gulping it down to sooth the sudden dryness in my throat. I wasn't surprised they always put my anti allergy drug in my water or juice as anytime I took gulps I felt the burning and irritation die down after a while but spike up when I begin eating the pancakes again.

"Madelyn we need to talk." This time it was Jayson who cleared his throat and spoke up, setting his cup of coffee down. I guess he's been using my situation as an advantage lately to be fucking my mother more and posing as a father figure but hey I hold no grudges. I don't care who my mother is fucking, but I would kill anyone who touches my Justin.

For the first time in like forever I beamed, certainly my poker face held no expression but the glint in my eyes spoke for me urging them to finally show me where my Justin was and when he's coming back.

"Is my Juju coming back for me?" My mother broke down as always, so annoying. Sometimes her pretense pity party doesn't sit with me and it's getting quite too old. He only cleared his throat tensing more and by reading his expression it wasn't about Juju so I focused back on my pancakes reverting back to my closed self.

"Your mother and I have decided to take you out of the country where by God's grace what my son has done to you would hopefully clear away. Your psychologist said it would take a while to forget him since he clearly messed you up right under our noses but I'm certain my doctors would be able to help you. It's our fault this all was happening and we never listened to you so please let us help, if not for anything then your well being."

That's suppose to feel great right, like a relief right, finally I would be free. He would finally stay out of way right, but I felt nothing, I only felt offended. How could they say this about my Justin much less coming from his own father, I felt like hurting them all. For the first time I felt this kind of emotion towards these two. I was raging. So you know what I did?...

I laughed...

The kind that held nothing. So dry not even reaching my eyes. It didn't even wrinkly any skin on my face. I snapped at him a blood shot glare making him shift a bit in his seat. I liked that reaction. I hoped it was enough threat for him not to do anything stupid or blame my Juju for our unique love for eachother.

"You know I was so stupid I never understood where my Juju was coming from when he said we were both at fault." I was staring at a blank space with my hands holding onto a knife under the table.

"Now I know when he said I was what he wanted and needed but didn't want to mess it up meant." I laughed again at how stupid I had always been. Always craving, putting him in tighter spots just for him to always stick by me, I still don't regret any of it one bit but I never looked at things in his perspective. It was always me and only me. And he never spoke of my flaws, always how I was first for him. Now I understood him leaving was him putting me first too. God my obsession for him just seemed to grow the more.

"Tell me mom did he also tell you guys that I was the one who pushed him to start everything." A genuine smile crept up on my face remembering our perfect childhood together.

"How happy I was when he took my first kiss at the age of five, how I kept kissing him and wanted to hurt myself when he tried to put a stop to my silly advances?" I looked her in the eye, hers holding so many emotions whereas mine held nothing but deep down I was dying on the inside. All this while I always hurt Justin and all I was thinking was of myself.

"Did he tell you mom, hm... Did he also tell you I made him touch and massage my sex just like I did to his whenever I forcefully suggested we took a bathe naked together at age six, did he also tell you I forced him to finger me hard when I was marked down in one of my essay tests he help made me study for the previous day, making me a crying wreak when you had to leave me to go to the office?"

"How we confided in ourselves. He always had to do everything according to the rules to please his father and I who craved love and attention my own mother couldn't give me.." I laughed again. "How we only saw ourselves to be just family who look after eachother. Not caring when we kissed in the open or in front of people, we needed it, It was what was keeping us sane."

"The heated make out sessions, blowjobs and dry humps we resulted to relieving our obsessive cravings when we got into fights or hurt eachother's feelings. How he was mine and I his. People gave us disgusted looks when we openly said we were family yet doing the things we did. I never cared in the first place but when he overcame his fear of deviating from the rules because it always hurt me we stopped caring. We did what we always felt right." My mother was seriously crying but it didn't move me one bit.

"Then everything was clear to me; all the insecurities, all the questions, all the doubts, It all came to an end when he made love to me that night. It was then I knew and accepted that I was obsessively in love with him. That night he looked pissed. I thought he would leave because I disobeyed him which scared the living hell out of me, honestly I didn't care he forced himself on me, someone else was going to do it if he didn't show up on time. It was already his and I was planning on giving it to him the night of my graduation. In fact I enjoyed every bit of it. How he tore right through me bit by bit kissing my tears and whispering soothing words to me, taking it slow to ease the pain and restraining me with so much force including ignoring my pleas for freedom because that's not what I wanted. How he rammed into me and destroyed me inside and out just how I liked it."

"Destroyed me so he could fix me. So he could keep me sane despite my insanity since birth because he was the only thing keeping me intact. How I resulted to hurting myself and trying to kill myself to see him tear himself apart at the thought of loosing or leaving me just like dad did. He was always there. You did nothing when he was around but you were still not there."

"That night I wanted to kill those people for making my Justin mad at me. He never got that angry or scolded me in such a manner, never raised his voice at me, never felt frustrated with me since the Trisha incident back during your office shit. He needed to own me fully.

He didn't care for my consent because he knew no matter what I was his and I needed my confirmation. Oh so you know that night when he came claiming no on any of it, I rode him because he was now mine. All mine and he never disappointed to claim me as his by telling you how he's always loved me."

"He was mad thinking he hurt me when I didn't speak to him but never stopped crying cause my life would be nothing the day he was out of it" She could barely contain herself anymore. I looked up to Jayson and he had an unreadable expression but I knew I hit a nerve then I laughed slowly standing up.

"If you two think posting me across the entire world is going to keep me and my Justin away from eachother then you're signing up for something you can't handle." Then I giggled at my recent thought. "Even me killing Trisha and Tyson couldn't keep us away. I can't even forget our mind blowing sex right in front of their corpses with their blood all over us. It was so sensual and just the thought of it brings a pool between my thighs."

Mom threw up, gross and with that all said and done with the horrified looks on their faces I chuckled climbing up to my room. For once in a very long time I felt good. Now all I needed was my Justin. How I wanted to tell him I've finally accepted my faults.

Now there was nothing keeping I and my Justin apart anymore... I stripped stepping into the shower to take a well deserved bath and finally take care of myself for Justin since that's what he's always wanted me to do. I couldn't stop the smile that crept up on my face.

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