Chain Obsessions

Chapter 17: I'm sorry

Chapter 17
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Present day...☠

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Justin...☠

I sat beside her bed holding onto her hand like it was the last time, wait it is going to be the last time. Seeing the bandages all over her body and the thought that she did this all to herself just for my attention only increased my undying obsession for her but it was clear that through all this she highlighted the need she has for me increasing my strong will to protect and give her my undivided attention but I also love her too much to always watch her do this to herself.

We were both at fault for doing this to eachother. We were basically obsessed with eachother since we were kids and we both took our firsts. She's mine no matter what and it always pierced my heart when she kept blaming me for doing this to her and I've stopped fighting it, she was right. If I didn't take advantage of her then maybe she would end up with some bastard who would never love and understand her like I do but that would have been better than us now since I've sat here for the past three hours. I brought her in around three in the morning.

I was going to let her go just like she always said she wanted even if she was lying. I was going to make things right, I was finally going to own up for my mistakes. I looked at her sleeping figure and kissed her forehead slowly giving her hand a gentle squeeze before finally exiting her hospital room with a heavy heart to her family's residence.

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Madelyn...☠

Everything felt heavy and painful but not inside because I felt nothing. I groaned for the fifth time trying to pry my eyes open and they did but I quickly shut them again due to the harsh burn of the lights to my eyes before they finally adjusted. Suddenly I felt the squeeze on my hand, Mom was staring down at me with teary eyes whiles Jayson stood behind her rubbing her arms in a soothing manner, even he had a sympathetic look.

The thing is they were the least of my problems. Where was my juju, I did all this for him and I mostly felt guilty for my actions when I knew very well not to hold him responsible alone but it hurt no matter what but then mom broke into sobs.

"I'm so so sorry sweetie, your mother is sorry for not trusting you. We're sorry for not believing you" She wiped her running nose with a handkerchief whiles pleading with her eyes for my understanding.

What were they talking about and what was all this trust thing. What, is it now they knew I was saying the truth when I said I was danger to my own self or what else? I frowned not understanding them at all.

"You were right and that monster is gone forever from our lives. He will never bother you anymore because jail isn't even enough for what he's done to you and mostly under the shadows all this while." she sobbed harder. "Oh my little girl."

Ok I really wasn't getting what was going on here. As if they understood me they dropped the bomb I had awaited for so long but what I didn't expect was the pained and unsettling feeling that followed. The pain in the form of everything being ripped out of me allowing all the emotions I bottled up flow out at once and almost taking my now more miserable life along with it.

"Justin! Oh sweetie that monster; I hate myself for not believing you dear because you were telling the truth about him all along. God I can't believe he was really capable and had the nerve to tell us you were his and he deeply regretted his actions." My mom finished with more tears but as for me,

Time stopped. 

Everything stopped and I felt my heart stop. Now everything hurt. Everything came crashing down. The emotional turmoil running wild inside of me was the worst thing I ever experienced in my life. Not even the suicide attempts could match up to this but I mean I got what I always wanted right so why was I hurting so much?