Chain Obsessions

Chapter 20: Total satisfaction

Chapter 20
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A lost memory...☠

***

Maddy☠

I need to get away from her. To get away from everyone. Mom brought me for my appointment with my psychologist.

Where was my Justin. He was mine and had no right to leave me he destroyed me physically emotionally and psychologically but he was also there for me. I never really cared because I already gave him all of me. I know our last appointment didn't go well but the mind blowing sex he forced on me after it was all I needed. I needed him.

I couldn't think or function without him and he broke my heart when my mother took me instead saying Justin said it would be for the best.

We were more of like couples to my mom and his dad where he played the good man of still sticking by my side. I was a train wreck of thoughts without him. I wanted to hurt myself, I was hyperventilating, was finding it hard to breathe and I did the one thing Justin would not let me do. I run. I run out of the office and out the building blending with the many people patrolling the streets. They would have to look hard and I couldn't help the surge of excitement knowing my mother was already speed dialing him on my runaway.

It has been two months since the party incident and I have been totally fucked. I guessed what happened didn't only mess up my social skills but my life around others who weren't Justin as well. I tended to hate and feel disgusted with myself when I was around other people and it all seemed to go away when I was with Justin but somehow I really started to dread letting the voices in. He alone was responsible for doing this to me as well as the cure for all this happening to me.

I was sweating and on the verge of coming down with a heart attack when someone looked at me. As if everyone wanted to take advantage of me, I still hadn't had my revenge. I was not going to let them have a normal life while I suffered. I didn't know where my feet were taking me but I found myself at the large gates of my former school since I couldn't go back because I couldn't handle other people judging me and giving me the looks.

Word about what happened to me got out fast but were immediately taken down from the web by my mom and Jayson. But all those who were at the party knew about it and I'm sure gossip spreads fast just like how everyone stopped to stare at me, looks of surprise and pity, talking little as possible so I don't catch onto it but I already knew what they were saying. It was lunch time now and I did nothing but thank my stars. I couldn't help the anger and resentment that I bottled up for those two inside of me.

I had mom take Murphy out to enroll him in a better school. It was the least I could do for him for dragging him into this mess. Justin and Caleb won't be around if he couldn't make it to my appointment. I'm sure it's business related.

Since the incident Justin decided to handle a bigger portion of his dad's companies so he's quite hooked but he wouldn't give a fuck if I needed him. Small groups were already forming and some who were weary of me followed me in hopes of preventing any damage.

I don't blame them tho, I could be here to kill myself. I made my way to the cafeteria where I knew I'd find them and I wasn't wrong. They were sucking eachother's faces off at a table with their friends. I wondered sometimes if Trisha really had a future. Being repeated so much should have put a dent in her ego or strive for a better education but no, she looks no day older than nineteen so she thinks she's got time. 

The whole cafeteria went silent on my arrival and Tyson eyes widened a fraction of a second before shoving Trisha off of him. She glared at him following his line of sight to which her face paled but later twisted into a sick smirk whiles I just gave her a blank stare because honestly, I felt nothing. I didn't know whether it was anger or resentment but I needed something to draw my Justin to me. Yes that was all.