The Cosmic Mystery

Chapter 13: The Day of the Doctor (Part 4)

It wasn't long after that, that the Doctor's and Clara left, and I was left to my own devices, in a TARDIS that had finally switched back to it's original schematic. My doctor had fought nearly tooth and nail to hold me for as long as he could, but they had to go. And, as much as I hated to admit it, they were right. I couldn't go. If I did go, god knows what kind of memories it would drag up and I might become a liability in a time when they needed absolute resolve. I sat on my bed unable to rid of the ringing in my ears, as I considered my life from a whole different perspective.

                Zola. It suddenly hits me, and I stand so fast I become dizzy and must grip my nightstand to stay standing. Zola knew something. She said as much as she was dying. She said, what did she say, she said I was bigger than her, the situation. When did I meet her, when did I meet Zola?

                It hits me hard when I realize with distaste that I can't remember. I've known her for as long as I could remember, and I never really questioned why I couldn't remember meeting her. I figured I was too young, but what if it wasn't that at all. I don't know how long I sat there thinking, but suddenly I heard the TARDIS door slam, and the doctor calling for me hurriedly. I rushed out to see him frantically flying the TARDIS and I run over gripping onto the console for dear life as the TARDIS flails.

                "Where are we going?" I ask looking at him wild eyed at the determination on his features.

                "Home." There's a beat of silence before I understand what he means and look at him like he's crazy. My heart begins to race as the thought of visiting the planet I apparently belong to floods my mind.

                "We can't go there, you told me Gallifrey is time-locked!" I screech in response, clinging to the TARDIS console as she flails about, fighting the end destination.

                "But we are!" He grins at me and finally there's a final jolt as the console stops and we look at each other and I suck in a sharp breath before running through the doors, desperate for some proof of the truth of my background. I step into a sandy scene; the air hot and deadly.

                "Go back. Go back to your lives. Go and be the Doctor that I could never be. Make it worthwhile." Warrior says and I look around confused, he hasn't done it yet. Whatever it is he does, he hasn't decided.

                "All those years, burying you in my memory."

                "Pretending you weren't the Doctor, when you were the Doctor more than anybody else."

                "You were the Doctor on the day it wasn't possible to get it right."

                "But this time-" My Doctor suddenly pauses sending a sad look my way, as if he's sorry as he begins to walk to the Warrior Doctor.

                "You don't have to do it alone." Bowtie finishes as they all settle their hands over the button. The relief on the warrior's face is eminent and I can't help the tears from streaming down my face, and once glance at Clara tells me I'm not the only one. My Doctor looks at me as Bowtie looks at Clara but I have the chance to speak before she does.

                "Don't I have a say?" I ask quietly. "I am a time lord too." The entire room seems to stop, so quiet you could hear the sand settling on the barn roof as all three doctor's stare at me in shock.

                "You told me you wiped out your own people. I just. I never pictured you doing it." Clara whispers to bowtie and I take her hand as the room goes dark and the war ravaging Gallifrey spreads in expanse around us. I'm aware there are people talking, but the feeling in my chest is nearly suffocating, as memories, just buried under the surface fight to rise.