One Mistake

    Keyleth’s vision spun as the group made their way back to Greyskull Keep. She leaned against someone, or maybe it was Trinket as she walked so as not to lose her balance. Luckily, Pike’s restoration spell earlier kept Keyleth’s nausea in check. What felt like years and seconds at the same time passed before they were standing in front of the Keep’s front gate. Vex was irritated at the guards for letting in strangers, but turned to the group confused when the guard said the guests were allowed. As Vox Machina made its way to the front door, they could hear rowdy laughter and the twangy sound of a stringed instrument. They quickly realized their guests were Scanlan’s old troupe. They made their way inside and sat around the dining table with Scanlan’s old traveling group. Keyleth had hoped for more wine, but could see their guests had already drunk three bottles.
    In Keyleth’s haze she found herself staring at Vax. The conversation around the table didn’t penetrate her mind as she began remembering when Vax had kissed her. She was staring at his lips, then his eyes as she remembered when he had told her he loved her. She’d been so confused at the time, not quite able to put her thoughts and feelings into words, but now she couldn’t remember why she had ever turned him away. She felt a sudden invisible tug in her chest. She would’ve stood up, if she hadn’t almost fallen over from dizziness and dragged back to the table by Percy. But still she stared at Vax, and she continued staring even when his eyes met hers. There was a tension that filled the air as they made eye contact, but almost immediately his eyes became sad and he looked away, his cheeks blushing just barely.
    She didn’t like seeing him sad. She wanted to go to him and comfort him. Why was he sad? She felt like she should know this, but the information couldn’t be reached. She tried to go to him, to hold him in her arms, but her friends on either side of her didn’t allow her to get up. They knew she was too drunk to walk steadily on her own. Her eyes even began tearing up from all the built up emotions she tried to keep hidden. She didn’t know it, but the stress of everything going on wasn’t as easily held back with alcohol in her system.
    Soon enough, Keyleth heard the group finally decide it was time to rest. Although she wanted to stay up all night and have a good time, a small part of her was relieved that she could be alone for a little while. Percy made sure she made it to her bedroom and she thanked him. She was dimly aware of the fact that Scanlan’s old troupe was staying the night in the keep and Scanlan had gone with the young female gnome to his room.
    As Keyleth sat on her bed, a cavalcade of confusing thoughts swam through her head. Everything was so confusing and scary, yet clear because the alcohol blocked her memory of why things were so confusing and scary. It was comforting at first, but soon she realized she didn’t like the feeling of not thinking clearly. It reminded her of the many times her and her friends had been possessed and mind controlled. Her breathing began to speed up as she clutched her blanket. She tried to stand, but dizziness caused her to fall back down, causing her to freak out even more.
    In the back of her mind amidst the panic, she heard knocking at her door. Quietly she could hear Vax on the other side. He was asking if she was alright. Her breathing slowed as she focused on his voice. She slowly stood and stumbled to the door and swung it open. Vax was surprised by the sudden way she had thrown open the door. Suddenly she was in his arms, neither sure if she had fallen or flung herself forward. He hugged her tight and the embrace caused her to steady her breathing completely. She felt so safe in his arms. She wanted to stay there forever. With her hands on his chest, she slowly looked up at him. His eyes were creased with worry and she could see the love in his eyes even with her clouded mind. After a few moments, Keyleth reached with her hand to touch the side of his face. He flinched at first, but soon rested his cheek in her hand. Suddenly the same tension from earlier was shared between their eye contact. Her face began moving closer to his. He could smell the alcohol on her breath, but the alcohol in his own body clouded his judgement and he did not move away.
    Their lips met tentatively at first, unsure as one is with a first kiss, except this wasn’t their first kiss and they wanted to go further. Suddenly, Vax’s head cleared and he pulled away. He tried to gently push her from his embrace.
    “Keyleth, we can’t-” he began to say. She interrupted him, grabbing the front of his shirt and pulling him towards her.
    “Vax,” she whispered, but her voice became stronger. “I need you.” She had felt the invisible tugging in her chest as he had pulled away and she couldn’t stand the feeling. She couldn’t stand the feeling of being alone right now. She needed him.
    The rational part of his brain told him to leave. He knew she’d regret it later, but then he looked into her eyes again and that was his mistake. He saw the longing there; the same longing he knew was in his eyes when he looked at her when she wasn’t looking. The stolen glances he’d sneak, hoping one day she’d look at him the same way and here she was giving herself to him. How could he refuse her? How could he say no? He felt himself giving way as he began to lean closer to her. The air was palpable with a tension they had never felt before. Closer and closer. Stop, he told himself. This is a mistake. She’ll hate you for it. But god, he needed her too.
    Their lips crashed together as the buzz filled their minds. Unfortunately, in their alcohol clouded minds they hadn’t moved into her room as they kissed in the hallway. Coming around the corner, Percy froze when he saw them. He had been going to Keyleth’s room to bring her a glass of water before she went to bed. His face reddened as he saw Vax’s hand begin sliding up Keyleth’s thigh. Percy quickly spun around trying not to make any noise as he scurried away. The only thing he thought as he walked away was Vex is going to be so pissed when she finds out. He smiled thinking of the hilarious situation on the horizon.
    After Percy had left them in the hallway, they continued kissing with extreme passion. Keyleth’s arms wrapped around his neck and she ran her fingers through his hair. Without saying anything and in sync, Keyleth jumped up and wrapped her legs around Vax’s waist; he caught her legs and began walking into her room, still kissing her. He laid her down on her bed and stood up straight. He ripped his shirt off and threw it somewhere in the room, he wasn’t sure. His skin felt electric everywhere Keyleth’s hands touched his chest. He held her face in his hands as he continued to kiss her. Soon after she tore off her shirt and Vax threw it off the bed. For a moment he only stared at what he believed to be the most beautiful woman in the world. Shortly after, the rest of their clothes laid on the floor, scattered about the room. Their hands intertwined as they got lost in the lust of the moment. They had no idea how much time passed before they both fell asleep exhausted. Their dreams that night were of each other, in the others arms. Just holding each other away from the pain the rest of the world had to offer. Away from the vampires and undead and dragons and liars and thieves. For just one night they wanted to feel safe in their own little world.
    It wasn’t till morning that the illusion broke. Vax woke up first, confused at first because he recognized that this wasn’t his bedroom. When he turned and saw Keyleth lying in bed next to him, his breathing hitched. He couldn’t believe what he’d done. She had told him no before and he hadn’t stopped her last night. Could he have stopped her? He wasn’t sure. He watched her sleep for a moment, her face peaceful and free of any fear or worry. The sunlight made her face glow and she slowly breathed in and out. Vax felt his heart crack at the idea that this would probably never happen again. He sighed and slipped quietly out of her bed. He quickly got dressed and glanced at her one last time before he left her room. He was still buttoning his shirt as he rounded the corner to see Vex exiting her room. Vax, on edge, jumped at the sight of her.
    “Oh, goodmorning, brother,” she said softly as to not wake the others in the keep.
    “Goodmorning, um I better get going, I have some um business to attend to with the um chef,” he said, cringing at his terrible lie. He quickly walked away, hoping to hide his face from his sister.
    “Well, alright,” she said, confused at his nervous tone.
    Later everyone began gathering at the dining table for breakfast. Vax anxiously waited for Keyleth as she was the last one to arrive. Vex noticed her brother's behaviour, but said nothing to him. As everyone was making small talk, Grog loudly announced:
    “As from all the sounds last night, I assume you had a great time with Kaylie, Scanlan.” He nudged Scanlan and gave him a wink.
    “No,” Scanlan quickly replied. “It wasn’t me. I struck out.”
    “You? Struck out?” Grog asked, confused. “Well, then who was making all them moaning sounds?”
    Vax choked on his drink and Percy had to stifle a laugh. The only one who noticed was Vex.
    “Yeah,” Vex said. “Who was making all that noise?” She pointedly asked her brother. He just raised his eyebrows and shrugged.
    “Ugh,” Keyleth interjected. “I have a headache and I’m super sore. Grog what did you make me drink?”
    “Make you? Uh uh, nothing. You wanted to drink water,” Grog said.
    “Water?” Keyleth asked, raising an eyebrow.
    “Fire water…” Grog mumbled under his breath.
    Vax found himself staring at Keyleth, but she didn’t even look at him. She seemed to have no recollection of last night's events. Maybe that was for the better Vax thought. Their relationship wouldn’t be damaged by his mistake.
    Suddenly her eyes found his, completely innocent at first, but making eye contact must have triggered something in her memory because suddenly the memories of last night came rushing back. Her mouth dropped open and it almost looked like she was going to say something, until Vax’s eyes widened realizing she’d remembered and quickly motioned to her to stay quiet. She covered her mouth with her hand and her face went red. She quickly stood and ran away from the table. Before Vax followed, Percy whispered in his ear, “Go get her, lover boy. Don’t worry, I’ll distract your sister.” Vax gave Percy a meaningful look before taking off after Keyleth. Vex was about to follow when Percy grabbed her attention.
    “So, Vex, I’ve been meaning to ask you…”
    Vax raced after Keyleth following the sound of her echoing footsteps. Somehow she made her way back to the hallway in front of her bedroom. The location alone had brought back such strong memories that froze her in place. Vax hesitantly walked up behind her. He gently touched her shoulder, hoping to turn her around and face him, but she jumped and walked a few steps forward. Her hand reached back at him, motioning him to stay away. They stand there for a few moments, just remembering and regretting.
    “What did we do?” Keyleth whispers almost to herself.
    “Keyleth, I’m so sorry,” Vax said, taking a step towards her.
    “Why are you sorry?”
    “Because I knew how you felt. How confused you were and I didn’t stop you. Honestly I don’t know if I could’ve stopped you.”
    “Vax,” Keyleth cuts herself off, unsure of what to say. She remembered how safe and comfortable his embrace had felt, but all of the old inhibitions were swarming her brain once again, no longer blocked by the alcohol. Seconds pass before he takes another step towards her, then another, then another. She can feel his presence right behind her, his breath on the back of her neck, but she doesn’t walk away. She stays rooted to her position. Gently his hands reach up to her arms. She shivers at his touch, but doesn’t pull away. She allows herself to be turned around. She can’t make eye contact though. She’s scared the same tension from last night will overwhelm her again. He lifts her chin with his finger.
    “Look at me,” he says softly. After a few moments she does. She lets out a sigh of relief because while the tension is still there, it’s more in the background. His eyes only convey how much he cares for her and how he wants to take away her pain. “This doesn’t have to be a bad thing, you know.” He continues. He looks down at her lips, asking for permission. She gives him only a nod he could see and their lips caress the others once again. She almost allows herself to get lost in the moment, but then her fears begin rising up once more and she pulls away.
    “I’m sorry, I can’t,” she whispers, no longer making eye contact. She pushes past him and makes her way back to the dining room.
    He feels that she took a part of his heart with her when she left, and he knew he’d never get it back. Even if she changed her mind in the future. In this moment she had broken his heart.