So I met this boy who is one year older than me. We met on instagram. It was on may 8th. We started chatting everyday. A view days later we started chatting with hearts. Then we started sending each other goodmorning and goodnight textes. We met for the first time in july. It was so great. We couldn't meet very often because he lives in another city. But we videochatted every night. He sang good night songs for me. In the summer holidays, we met very often. One day before school started again (13th of september) he asked me. "Do you wanna be my wife?, I love you with my whole heart" Of course I said yes. Because I loved him too. It was the best day ever for me. I was the happiest person alive. He made me feel special. He made me think that I'm perfect how I am. I belived him. Because he showed me so much love. No one ever showed me this much love. No one was so kind to me. He loved me. - I thought. In the end of september he didn't awnser my calls or messages. I was so scared that something happened to him. But he always read the massages. I was so sad. He ignored me. What did I do wrong? On October 2nd I saw that he has made a instagram story. He was kissing a other girl on a party. It was on his 16th birthday. I asked him who that was. One day later his only awnser was "We have to break up I can't do this anymore.". He cheated. He got together with that girl. What did I do wrong? Why didn't he tell me what I've done wrong? Did he ever love me? I was so done at this point. I stopped caring about myself. These suicide thoughts were coming again. I started cutting again. I stopped eating. I was turning into a devil. I was so agressive. I didn't do any work for school. I blocked all my friends. Until November.
YOU ARE READING
Lost all my controll - ready to die
Cerita Pendekhii, I want to share my story with you. why? because many of you have the same problems as me. It may be helpful :D TW: eating disorder, suicide, selfharm, fears
