What Fate Brings

Chapter 6

Aria's POV

The day went by so fast, I didn't realise we were at the hospital for 11 hours until a receptionist came in, informing us that visiting hours were over.

Spencer and her family had left 2 hours ago, I noticed something was bothering Aubree, so I suggested they leave.

I contempt the fact that I wouldn't be going home to a normal house. I would be going home to a childless house. Taylah's room will be empty, not occupied by the animal sounds of her breathing or the music that constantly blasted from her speakers. Instead, it was the bedroom of a cancer sufferer.
I wouldn't be taking her to school tomorrow. She wouldn't be going to dancing. I won't be going to work. Neither will Ezra. We will be in the hospital; watching our baby girl suffer. Watching her fight. Watching her die.

The car ride home was silently awkward. The only noises heard were the muffled sobs that escaped our lips. We couldn't comfort each other; nothing we could say or do would change our situation. We had no moral high ground. We had no idea how severe Taylah's cancer was. It was eating on her bones. Living off her flesh. It was deteriorating her slowly, we just didn't know how slow was slow.

Ezra pulled up in our drive way clumsily. The car rocked and shaked and jerked us forward. He was usually a gentle driver.
"Sorry" he breathed, astonished at his actions.
"I wanted to feel something."
I look at him darkly. Is he trying to accidentally crash the car?
"Feel what?" I question.
"Pain" he says.
God he is so stupid, as if our little trip wasn't eventful enough.
"What sort of pain? Do you not consider what Taylah is dealing with right now to be a source of enough pain? Do you not administrate the fact that she could be dying right now? Is it good to know that her days her numbered? Because if that isn't painful enough, I don't know what is."

I never got why people divorced after their child was diagnosed.
It was an incredibly selfish thing to do. Divorces are not fun. Why add on heart break?
But now, I completely get it.
People react to cancer differently. You become emotional. The smallest thing makes you depressed. Makes you mad.
I don't feel anything; towards Ezra I mean.
I don't love him.
I don't hate him.
But I'm sure as hell mad at him.
For what?
I don't know.
That's for God to know, and Ezra to find out.
I'm done.
I'm sick of this.

Why is God doing this? Did he think I did something wrong so he decided to punish Taylah? What the fuck?! I hate everything right now.

I'm in a circle of madness and I can't stop.

"Ezra, I want to die" I say.
It's a foolish thing to say. It's the easy way out. It's childish, especially when your child needs you right now more then ever.

"No you don't. You're confused. You're angry. You're distressed" he says calmly. I want to believe him; but the idea seems absurd right now- living was not something I wanted to be doing right now.

Ezra hops out of the car and walks around to my side, opening the door for me.
He's doing it to make me feel better, I should give him some credit.
I get up out of the car as he shuts the door behind me.
I swing my hips as I walk up the gravel stoned path to our front door.
"I'll be waiting" I whisper and turn to step into the house, but not before I see his jaw drop to the floor.

The rest of the night is well; "history."