A collection of one-shots I publish about the Haikyuu!! boys. This is a Haikyuu character X fem!reader compilation. Also, there will be contents about violence, bullying, sexual and more. Though there are no promises about lemons, maybe I'd put lime...
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The sky was clear and blue. The soft breeze blew past the man, it felt refreshing as always. The flowers and plants and trees in the park stood tall, proud and unwavering from the never-ending threats of ruination from everyone whoever steps foot inside. Even the children's laughter were filled with joy; painting a beautiful scenery.
Yet, for the man who sat on the shade under the largest tree, everything was dull. He didn't understand the beauty of the vibrant blue sky that stayed like that even when people under it grieves for the ones who will never look at its magnificence again. The children who plays in the park will also be replaced by other children when they grow up—so what was the beauty in this unchanging scene?
Oikawa Tooru did not understand. Perhaps he did, once, when you stood in front of him, the sky and lush greenery were your background. When your laughter used to intermingle with the children's. When you used to be the soft breeze that breathe life into him.
Oikawa closed his eyes after taking a deep breath. He focused his mind somewhere and soon, he was able to blur out the sound that can interrupt his thoughts. Inside his head, he found you, wearing that silly grin that he longs to see more vividly. The very same memories that he's holding on so tight and causes him to have anxiety as it fades slowly.
"Y/N..." He unconsciously murmured, a tear rolling down on his left cheek.
Why did the Gods give me a chance to meet you, if they were going to take you from me?
Oikawa couldn't understand. He can't understand anything. He wanted to blame anyone, really, even whatever decides the fates of humans. But in the end, all he realizes is that no amount of blaming could ever bring you back.
It's so suffocating. What does this world want him to do? Accept that you were simply gone? Oikawa didn't know why until now, he was still living.
It's been seven years. Everyone told him that he should live, for you—they said. Everyone said that you would not want to see him miserable, that you'd wish for his happiness more that anyone. Everyone said that time will heal his heart eventually.
However, what to do when you were Oikawa's happiness? His heart died with you, how can it heal?
Oikawa did not know what to do after you left him, so he followed everyone's advice. He continued to play volleyball and win matches with his team. He met with a lot of great girls, even dated a few times before he realized that nothing's changing. He still felt hollow, like he was falling into an endless abyss.
"I don't care what anyone thinks about you. For me, you're someone I don't deserve. You're too good for me, I don't know if I'm allowed to have you."
That's what you said to him once, when he had a mental breakdown in front of you because of his crippling sense of inferiority. He didn't understand how someone such as wonderful as yourself think that they are nothing worthy.
You were the person who smiled at the lone flower beside the road because you thought it was pretty and complimented its resilience. You were someone who appreciated the smallest things that brought you joy. Perhaps you were desperate to find happiness that you started looking for it everywhere.
Well, did you find it now?
You had your own struggles. Those problems were even more heavier than what most adults have experienced, but you never turned your back to teenagers who complained about their nagging mother when you had none.
Oikawa knows that you thought you weren't a strong person. But to him, you were the strongest person he has ever met. And you were the most extraordinary being—he's still in the clouds when he thinks about how you gave him the privilege to have your heart.
He misses you terribly. It hurts. He can feel it deep in his bones. The aches, they never go away. Everyday, Oikawa could feel his heart getting more numb. Breathing seems harder and he's drowning more and more. His whole being screams to hold you in his arms. Tight and secure, so you'd never have a chance to leave again.
"Oikawa." He opened his eyes to reveal how red the rims are. The first thing he sees is a pair of shoes—familiar ones.
Oikawa doesn't notice—he has not, even when Iwaizumi started calling him properly seven years ago. The former vice captain of Aoba Johsai's men's volleyball team has been walking on eggshells around his childhood friend for years now. Iwaizumi thought that Oikawa's flippant attitude was gonna come through eventually and that he'll move on. But he never did. Iwaizumi Hajime thinks that Oikawa will never get over the one real and also surreal thing he ever had.
"Why are you here, Iwa-chan?" Oikawa's voice sounded hoarse, but he tried to sound light-hearted. Despite Iwaizumi changing the way he addresses Oikawa, the latter had not. Maybe a small part of Oikawa wants to convince everyone to think that he's fine and everything's normal.
"What do you mean 'why I'm here'? I always go back here around this season." Iwaizumi sat down beside Oikawa. The latter ahh-ed softly, but his eyes held no emotions and just stared blankly ahead.
Even when he noticed it, Iwaizumi did not pay attention and pointed at a woman walking towards them. "Sato-san is here. She says she's worried about you and asked me if we could go see you."
Looking at the woman's clothing style, they're definitely something you'd wear. The way you and Sato walks are similar, even the way the both of you present yourselves. That's why when Oikawa first met Sato two years after your death, he was so angry at her. He thought that Sato was mimicking you to get his attention.
However, later it was proven that Sato was not pretending to be anyone. The two of you have not even seen each other. But the similarity was there—even your friends thought so.
Oikawa was desperate to hold onto your shadow, so he stuck to Sato. He treated her very well and protected her. He even indulged Sato and tried to meet her every request. Some people thought that he was finally moving on.
However, Oikawa realized that being similar is not the same as being the real one. He apologized to Sato suddenly and never talked to her on his own accord again. He knew it was horrible of him to treat Sato as a substitute, but Oikawa did not know why he did so. You were the one in his mind all the time.
Now seeing her again, Oikawa did not see your shadow in her anymore. He was wrong. Nothing and no one could ever replace you.
Oikawa still has not accepted your death, and he will also not forget you. Even if you wish for it.
