13th Street (Poly)

Doll House

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          It was hot. The feeling of chains tightly woven in my wrists feels like a molten metal against my skin, everytime I tried to break free it gets tighter and tighter, heavier against my ankle and sharper as if cutting my flesh.

"Azure, Aren't I nice enough to let you have your servants?."

Father would always ask the same question everytime I tried to take a peek in the balcony, even though I never muster up the courage to actually look outside, everything ended up the same way. He would always know.

"How?"

Even if I didn't do anything I feel like he would know. How exactly?

"Because it's written all over your face."

I looked up from Canary's chest to his gorgeous face as he rolled his eyes at my questioning look. We are laying next to each other as he tightly embrace me as if all the mean looks and words he said to me before was now forgotten. Early in the morning around 4:00, Canary woke me up. He didn't intend to but his sudden movement did, as if running a hundred laps around the house, he was sweating furiously.

"You can't even hide what you're thinking, and Mom wants you to go out already. What was that woman thinking?"

We don't have a lot to talk to in the first place, so as soon as he calms down from his panic attack we talked about my next move in living my life outside. Mom already suggested that I go to the same school as Canary, Vaughn and Enzo, I myself would like to try but the boys disagrees saying I know nothing of the outside world.

"But... I would... love to be your classmate, Master."

"Hmm ... Its too early for your own good Doll." Canary caress my hair out and gave me a soft kiss. It took me seconds to actually react in an embarrassing manner and he just smirked.
"Everyone will know that I ravished you good around breakfast later so I suggest that you stop seducing me or they won't know until dinner came."

I probably looked like an apple right now. I didn't actually know why they'll know but everything he said sounds like he'll just let everyone in the house know what we did.

We didn't actually talked about what we did or more like what I did yesterday. Canary didn't even mention a single thing about it. All the pent up frustration I had disappear when he hold me and blow my mind with how dominating he is but now that I remembered what happened, I feel like crying once more.

I didn't even matter to them, we didn't feel the same way and Jackson clearly thinks of me as a child. I just got here and instead of worrying about my father or William or even my future and adjust to my new house, no! My mind was full of this disgusting thoughts of being held by them. I feel so disgusted of myself.

"Canary, aren't I obnoxious?" I mumbled, too afraid to let him know my thoughts.

"Yesterday I saw you looking at me. I feel offended about myself for thinking of you guys in that way."

"What way?"

Canary was looking deep in my eyes as he licked his lips. I didn't know how to explain how I felt but words continuously flows out my mouth without restrained. What am I saying?

"I know you're all in a relationship or maybe some of you. I saw you kissing Linx and Vaughn and I... I heard Elijah in your room too and I ... and I...I..."

"You what, doll?"

I swallowed hard. I don't know why I'm saying things like that as if confessing my crimes but there's something about Canary that force me to say everything that comes to mind.

"I want you to hold me too!"

It didn't take long for Canary to ravish my mouth as he pinched my waist hard enough for a gasp to come out. His tongue cross mine as if it's his life force, sucking, licking, biting none stop and I actually liked every little friction we have.

"Azure, what we have are  relationships that goes beyond romantic or physical desire."

He said sitting up right. He walks towards his pants in the floor and took out a cigarette. He opened my window and sat there looking outside as he took a puff and sight quietly as if he was so used to it. I watch him do this as I covered myself from the cold wind that sips through the open window.

"I wasn't alone when I first found my way here so I wouldn't know the feeling but the first time I saw that lamp all I can think of at that moment is warmth."

"It wasn't me but Caleb, he was the one who saw it first but I still vividly remember, Ah finally I can rest, that was all I could think of. We ran away from home that very day and as my body was covered in blood I fainted too, just like you."

Canary looked at me sadly as if remembering a very traumatic memory. The next words though shocked me but the way he said it as if it was nothing saddens me more.

"We're both abuse, had a personality disorder and both emotionally wreak. The 13th street became my crane. At first I thought I can give my body, it was used many times as I was raped many times too. If the boys in 13th street wanted it in exchange for me and my brother staying here then I would gladly give it. It was better than not knowing whether your safe at all. It gave me assurance that me and Caleb can start anew here."

He then looked at me as if remembering something horrible that he slightly shudders.

"I felt safe... but Caleb didn't. Unlike me Caleb was raped by his own trusted friends, his own boyfriend." Canary gritted his teeth. His jaw locking tightly that the intensity of his stares frightened me.

"Caleb can't trust anyone after that. Even me his own twin. He was so much like you."

I can't take it anymore, I slowly make my way towards him wrapping him in my arms. His back was shaking but no tears came unlike what I expected. He was broken just like me or maybe more than me but Canary unlike my first impression of him was a strong straight forward guy. He has a wall around him that is so thick you can't seem to have a chance surpassing but at the same time he has a gate that is so widely open that he can say whatever he wants and not give a damn about how you feel about it. He can express what he wants and not care about what you'll see in that opening he made that it makes him so strong.

"I know how you can't trust any of us, as you yourself was betrayed by those closest to you but what we... what I can give at least is the kind of affection I didn't get to give my brother."

He kissed me gently as if wanting me to feel what his feeling right now.

"Azure, there's a lot of secrets and pains that are clustered inside this house, a lot of things you might not understand but you have to learn... At least you can be mine and me as yours if you want. You're my doll now anyway."

...

"Yes, Master!" I smiled.

I smiled...

I smiled knowing what he was thinking. I smiled sweetly that I can almost cry again. I'm so happy.

Yeah, he was right. Just like Canary I have to give something if I want to be free. This is indeed better than not knowing if you're safe or not. I would rather have this deception and not bet my heart than be a slave to my father again. I already gave my body, what more could I lose?

13th street truly is a heaven in hell.

🙃