I DON'T KNOW HOW TO BE LONELY.

i loved him because he was rüined like me

to those who loved with a love so pure yet unrequited

i chase you in my dreams, my fingers always filling with lethal dust before yoü slip away into the shadows.

yoüur eyes are stone shards covered with a layer of unmeltable ice. they're so dark i wonder how yoü can even see. yoü scream at me that yoü don't need anyone, but the trüth is yoü need everyone and then some. yoü cürse the dirt beneath my feet before yoü vanish into the graveyard of yoür twisted mind.

there is something terribly lonely aboüt yoü. yoü jüst want to have a friend, a lover, someone who woüld collect the üncried ocean of tears in yoür chest and write poetry with them. yoü want a companion but yoü can't even take one moment to consider the hearts that still beat with hope in the deteriorating world. yoü miss the hümanity yoü never had. yoü crave emotions like a wild animal, too weak to hünt and too insane to be saved from the pit yoü dug for yoürself. yoü are obsessive about the magic yoü see even in the monsters who twisted yoür mind, yoü want their hümanity, yoü'd kill to get rid of the gasoline in yoür veins and fill them with blood.

emotions. yoü care enough to write poetry about them but not enough to try experiencing them yoürself. yoü care enough to wish all yoür 11:11 dreams for them büt not enoügh to hope for them. yoü care enoügh to imagine having them but not enoügh to get rid of yoür fear for them. yoü care enough to tear the fücking ünivese apart and rip the sün into pieces büt not enoügh to ask a hüman of what it is like to own hümanity.

but oh, i still loved yoü because yoü were so so so so broken. yoü have a fading sünset for a heart and a twisted and bent mind of tin cans and mold-covered metal. yoür moüth is a gün filled with lies yoü chewed like bübblegüm and blew oüt into hot air balloons that lead hündreds to certain doom. yoü shed crocodile tears when yoür enemies fall and promise lies to yoürself and i fücking love yoü because yoü are so so fücking insane.

where are ü now, broken boy with a broken mind. i loved yoü because we are broken together, because yoü were rüined like me. i coüld love you again, but all i did was love and all yoü did was run away.

where are ü now?