I DON'T KNOW HOW TO BE LONELY.

all this healing is a lie

tw: self harm

the bleeding never ends you know? wounds are reopened over and over and over again. so i'll hurt me, i'll slice my wrists over and over and over again until my cells forget how to heal. because all this healing it's a lie and i'm so tired of finally thinking everything's going to be alright before it all comes crashing down again. healing only leads you on.

i scrape the scissor blades over these wounds everyday, so they won't ever close. they draw lines down my arm as the red heat drips down my fingertips, staining the bathroom floor and over the sleeves of my shirt and bleeding as if it'd bleed all my veins out. but no, it doesn't. a few minutes later the wounds are sealing again, the blood drying into scabs.

so tell me, isn't healing just hurting over and over again? when the loneliness slices your heart slowly and the blades slice your skin, they wound would close up again. but then they open right before you can heal completely. and it happens over and over and over again.

i tell you, all this healing is a lie.