It's Never An Accident (bkdk) VOL 1

thirty-three

Katsuki's PoV:

"Deku..?" I say with shock fulfilling my voice that rarely ever trembled once the past four years of fear, nervousness, the embarrassment of my very own actions. Deku was here, he really came to something like this while he wasn't forced by me to come. 

Something was wrong, I knew there was more to this. It wasn't just about me "breaking up" with him. He was weird, not in the way you think, the sadist way. Sadness was all I saw in his eyes once our gazes met each other.

"Why the hell are you here, Deku?" I look at his red solo cup before snatching it from his hands. "And, stop fucking doing shit like this," I hold the cup above my head before throwing it to the side into the grass. The cup lied there, motionless. Deku was like that cup, still as stone. He looked worried now that I spoke to him after such a long time. 

A week was long for me after hanging out with him every day before that. I remember holding him when he cried, kissing him every day after school hours behind the dorms, at his damn house. I remember not being able to get enough of him one day. I never would want to be ripped from his side like I suddenly did for Kirishima.  

Shitty hairs suggestions just got to my head quicker than they should have. The way we kissed before Ashton walked in on us, his comforting words that were just meant to make him feel better about himself. 

"I'm here because I can be," He said before folding his hands into his hap. He always did this when he was upset. I knew this from day one, I wasn't an idiot like he thought I was. "Why're you babying me? I'm not the same person you knew when we were fourteen." He stood up before walking closer to me. 

His eyes. They hadn't changed from moments before. Sadness still overdrew them. His breath. It waved around in the air, threatening to hit me in the face. 

Everything about this just wasn't right. I could feel myself growing emotional over what he said. "I'm not treating you like a baby, Deku. I'm looking after what you broke," I narrow my eyes down to the ground, but quickly catch myself and look back up. "You did this to yourself, this is all you." 

 I walk over to the now-empty plastic cup in the grass before yanking it up into my hands and setting it into his own, "If you wanna do this to yourself, do it," I shove my hands into my pockets, "I'm not stoping you. Nobody ever was making you do anything you didn't want to follow through with."

His face grew with sadness, his eyebrows furrowing as he looked down at the cup covered in grass clippings that lied in his hands. The face of retreat, fear, and again, sorrow. 

"I knew you never changed," He glanced back up at me, his eyes glittering with tears in the moonlight, along with the party's lights shining in multiple directions. "...I knew you wouldn't ever change when we first kissed." 

Change. The change was fake, everyone has no change in them. They were their old children selves. You were either a bitch or a nerd, there was no in-between in my head. He was right all along, yet never brought it up. He had trust in me and I blew it. 

I blew the last bit of trust he had in me. 

Words: 595