Immature Mistakes | mj.q✓

Thirty-Four

'And then...eventually I got married.' Michael continued to tell Ava the story, the now empty mug still in his hand. 'She was a girl who was also an immigrant, your mother.'

'Was she pretty?' Ava tried to lighten the mood of the story. 'I've never seen her photos before.'

'She was.' Michael replied. 'But, I didn't love her despite how beautiful she was. I neglected her and I made her cry, in fact I hated her. Because I never wanted to replace Jiaqi's mother, yet I was forced to because everybody said I should get married. That the time had come. So even when she was pregnant, I didn't take care of her like I should have.'

Ava looked at him with teary eyes as she listened, thinking of what her mother whom she never knew went through.

'So when she was giving birth, I wasn't around...no one was. The hospital was quite far from where we lived. Already stressed out with how I treated her, and not being taken care of enough in her pregnant state, she couldn't go to the hospital on her own. So she gave birth on her own to twins, and died of excessive bleeding in the house.'

The revelation of her mother's death made her heart sink. All this time Michael had always told her that her mother had died from a sickness.

'And she wouldn't have died if I would have been there and taken her to the hospital. Well, someone found you guys on time and took you to the hospital, along with her, but she was announced dead on arrival. But I didn't care, because I hated her. But...I kind of cared about you guys because you were my blood. So I wanted to raise you with a survival instinct, I didn't want you to live by your hearts like I did. Because living by your heart hurts.'

Ava listened painfully, trying her best to keep the tears from coming out.

'I didn't want you to care about much, not even each other. I didn't want you to listen to the rules. It's the only way people like us can survive and make it far.' he assured her.

'So that's why you were mean. You didn't want us to go through what you did.' Ava nodded. 'But you put us through much worse.'

'The pain I put you through is not as bad as the pain of heartbreak. And you...' he grabbed her small hand fondly for the first time. 'I see myself in you. You're so strong yet so weak. You're the one who could get hurt just like me, I don't want that. That's why I want you to stay away from that boy.'

'But Jiaqi wouldn't hurt me, he's a great person. He even forgave me for something terrible which I did to him...'

'It's not that he's bad.' Michael shook his head. 'Listen to me, I didn't think Jiaqi's mother was bad too. In fact, she wasn't. But we were different. We grew up different, we went through different trials in life, it just couldn't work.

'Anyway,' Ava let go of Michael's hand then wiped her tear. 'It's not about me. Dad, you've struggled alone so much all these years because you never confronted your emotions. Jiaqi's mom probably hurt you, and you're still mad over it, or you're hurt. And I totally understand and you have every right to. Bur you need to forgive her. If there's one thing I learned it's that forgiveness really brings peace...especially when you hear both sides of the story.'

'So what are you saying?' Michael asked her, for the first time listening to what she was saying with an open heart.

'You should probably meet her and tell her how you feel. And she'll tell you how she feels. Then you can separate in good terms and forgive each other and forget what happened.'

'I wouldn't want to meet her again, she's a married woman. What will her husband thinks?'

'I'm sure he'll understand. Please dad.'

'I'll think about it.' Michael dismissed her.

...

The next morning, Mr. Ma decided to drive Jiaqi to school. Even though Jiaqi was surprised with the gesture, he knew that his father was simply doing it to keep his mother from apparently feeding Jiaqi lies. Mr. Ma obviously wanted to tell his own side of the story, so he didn't waste time to start saying it when Jiaqi had gotten in the car with him.

'It's fine dad,' Jiaqi dismissed him once he had started. 'Mom really didn't say anything bad about you. She actually said you were a pretty interesting person but the spark died.'

'No she got annoying, that's what happened.' Mr. Ma corrected. 'Anyway, you're going to be writing your final exams soon. Which college do you want to go to?'

'I want to go to Wuying College,' Jiaqi told his father and smiled to himself. It was a dream he had recently developed. Wuying was one of the most prestigious colleges in the country, and it offered a wide variety of courses. 'I want to study Psychology & Counseling, I want to be able to help people out with my job.'

'Wow Jiaqi, I never expected you to say that. I'm proud of you.' Mr. Ma said honestly. 'You've really changed a lot since you left the hospital.'

Jiaqi smiled and nodded.

'But you need good grades for Wuying College you know? I think I should get you a tutor, and I want you to focus a lot.'

'A tutor?' Jiaqi repeated. He hadn't really thought of getting one, but hearing his father's suggestion made it sound like a good idea. 'Yeah, I think that will help me out.'

A while later, his father's car stopped in the parking lot of their school. Jiaqi waved him goodbye before running into the school building.

Even though he had so much to think about, he still couldn't get his thoughts over what his mother said out of his mind. His mother was an objective woman, someone who always told him things that were solely for him unlike his father. She was probably right when she said Ava and him would never work, so he didn't have to give her hope.

The words echoed in his mind: if he loved Ava, then he wouldn't mislead her into thinking that a relationship would ever work between them. She had such a spark in her eyes whenever she saw him, and it was proof of how much she adored him.

That day later at lunch, Jiaqi decided to sit alone as he had been doing the past days. But Ava quickly walked over to him with a smile that day. He didn't know whether he wanted to see her: seeing her made him happy yet sad at the same time.

'Hi Jiaqi.' She sat next to him. 'Did you manage to get any information from your mom? I sure got some from my dad.'

'Oh I did,' Jiaqi told her. 'Hopefully we were told the same story huh? I don't know what to say but I'm really sorry about what happened to your dad. I bet it contributed to why he treats you guys like that.'

She nodded. 'It's okay.'

Jiaqi looked at her with a small smile. He really loved her, but he had to remember his mother's words and put her wisdom above his. Probably spending time with Ava would make it seem like they had a chance, and he would be misleading her. He didn't want to start anything and leave her broken in future.

'Hey I need to tell you something crazy before I forget,' Jiaqi suddenly remembered. 'You know you kinda contributed to why I changed? When you came into my ward in your white dress, I legit thought you were an angel because in that state you looked so supernal. It really solidified that thought that heaven was giving me a second chance...made me want to change more. Thanks.'

Ava chuckled. 'I hope the fact that I wasn't an actual angel didn't change your mind.'

'Nah, you don't have to see some things to believe them.'

'Well, and you changed me in turn. Thanks.'

'So your sister is not going to report you for talking to me?' Jiaqi turned in Evelyn's direction. Even though she seemed to be minding her own business with her friends, he still was not absolutely sure.

'I don't think so. Because I convinced my dad to try to talk to your mom so that he can forgive her and move on. Just like how you did with me and Janine.'

'That's a great idea.' his mind wandered briefly for how he was going to tell her that they could not be close anymore. But if he was going to tell her that, he wanted to at least spend one last epic moment with her. 'Hey, wanna hang out on Friday?'

'Friday!? Awesome. I'm up for it.'