Why her? | ni-ki

-8-

"Y/n what were you gonna say?" Yuna said and I smiled. "I'm falling asleep regularly." I said and yuna smiled. "That's great y/n! I'm so happy for you." She said and hugged me.

"Do you guys wanna hang out today?" Sunoo asked and yuna smiled. "Yes! I'll tell ni-ki!" Yuna said and was excited. "Sorry guys I have homework to do. I have an essay due today." I said and rolled my eyes. "Loser!" Sunoo said and laughed at me.

"Do you wanna die?" I said and made a fit at him. We laughed as we went to class. I was talking more with Luna and realized what a kind person she was. She was like yuna,

Perfect.
—
I went upstairs and looked into the mirror once again.

All those thoughts came back.

They always come back when something goes wrong.

I fell to the floor and cried. I hated looking into the mirror. Why can't I look normal?

I let my tears fall as I felt myself get drained again after 3 months of not feeling it anymore.

It just came back and I thought I was okay but I'm not. I'll never be okay. Never in my life will I be okay.
—
Another Months passed by I've been the same avoiding my own friends and family.

I've been Skipping meals, crying, harming myself, not talking, not sleeping, or just over sleeping.

You name it, I've done everything bad to my body and mental health.

Why am I like this?
—
I can't do this anymore I need to get help. It's for the better right?

I called my mom hoping she'll help me. I'm her daughter so she'll help me right?

Mom: y/n? I'm kinda busy right now.

Y/n: Mom I wanna kill myself.

Mom: y/n stop joking around I don't have time for jokes.

Y/n: im not joking. I need help with myself I can't do this anymore.

Mom: y/n! I'm busy! The world doesn't always revolve around you. You telling me you wanna kill yourself is just seeking attention.
It's just a phase get over it now. I'm done with this conversation goodbye.

She said and hung up. I sighed as I was kinda expecting it but didn't at the same time.

I felt empty more then ever. I'll try the school? Maybe they'll help me?
—
I went to my counselor and sat down on the chair. "Hey sweetie how can I help you." She said and smiled.

"I need help mentally. I'm tried of living, all I do is just heartbroken or hurt myself. I just need someone to talk to." I said and was about to continue but she cut me off.

"Sweetie I'm gonna have to reschedule this talk for tomorrow. I have an appointment right now with another student about college. I'll pull you out of class tomorrow 2nd period okay? Stay safe okay?" She said and took me out of her office.

I was to shock to even speak.
Wow.
—
517 Words
qtchims_
Sorry if it's going a bit to fast :/