Fireflies {DAMIANO DAVID FANFICTION}

SEVENTEEN

Since first saying 'ti amo' on the flight to London, Damiano has become all the more affectionate and loving. He was beforehand, don't get me wrong. Always on top of me, checking on my every need, arms wrapped around my mid-section. But since those words slipped out of his mouth, things have changed, undeniably for the better. 

He places a kiss to the back of my neck, arms wrapped around my hips and body pressed flush against my own. "Tesora," he mutters, lips barely lifting from my skin. "Tesora,"

"Hm, Dami?" I turn in his arms, just enough to see his face. "Is everything okay?" Around us is chaos as the other members of Måneskin set up their gear for a performance later tonight. It doesn't feel like we're even in the same room. We're so absorbed in each other, it's like nothing else exists. It's always like this with Damiano. I'll never get sick of it. 

"Do you think..." he swallows heavily. I turn fully in his arms, placing a hand on his cheek. He nuzzles into the touch almost subconsciously, closing his eyes for a moment before they flutter open again. "Do you think I'll be a good dad to the lil' one?"

"Damiano," I hum. Before I speak further, I lean up and press a quick kiss on his jaw. "Damiano, you're going to be the best dad. You don't even have to do anything at all and you'll be the best. I...I was prepared to do this on my own. The fact that you're even here is more than enough. I have complete faith in you. I wouldn't be here if I didn't."

"It's just," Damiano looks behind him before tightening his arms around my waist and shaking my hand off his cheek. He walks with me in his arms until we're on a small couch and I'm sat in his lap. Still, it appears as though nobody notices us. "I'm not even sleeping anymore, tesora. Any time I get a second to think I'm just fuckin' panicking.  I wonder if I'm even—ah, what's the word, hm—"

"Take your time," I whisper as I watch him search his brain for the proper adjective. He presses a finger to the space between his eyebrows. He takes a breath before speaking again. 

"Ah, equipped. I wonder if I'm even meant to be doing this. Was I...was I built for this, Zola?"

"You're not walking out now," I say. He shakes his head quickly. 

"No, no!" he exclaims. "Never, bella, you know better than that."

"Good," I hum. "Cause it's not an option at this point."

"I'd never," he says. "But I'm just...scared. I want to be good. I want to be good for her, want to be good for her. I want to be...God, Zola."

"Let it out." I encourage him. My hand draws small shapes on his stomach that he doesn't even seem to notice. 

"I fuck everything up. Everything. The one thing I haven't fucked up is this...this band and I've come close. And you. Those are the two things in my life I haven't fucked up yet. And I try not to be insecure but goddamn, if I could just get out of my head for two fucking seconds-"

"Dami," His fists are balled at his sides and his face is screwed up in all sorts of emotion. "Dami, I need you to take a breath and calm down, okay? You're fine, you're fucking perfect, I love you so much."

"And I want to believe that, Zola, I really do." His eyes twitch open, looking directly into my own. "There's just so much pressure here. So much that could go wrong. I want..." he pauses to place both of his hands on my stomach. "I want this to be perfect."

"It will be." I reassure him. "Dami, it will be. It will be perfect and she will be beautiful and we will be the best parents like we always knew we'd be and your knucklehead best friends will be the best zie e zii we've ever seen. Damiano, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, too. I guess you just have to trust it, no? We'll be okay. You're going to be perfect."

"By God," he sighs. "I don't know what I did in my past life to deserve you but I thank my stars for you every single day."

"You didn't do anything to deserve me. There's nowhere else I'd rather be than right here. Okay? Damiano, honestly I'd be more concerned if you weren't scared. It's natural. It's normal. Once she's here, I promise everything will be okay."

"I know it will be." he hums. His eyes are fixed on my stomach. "What are we now, mama? How much longer?"

"We're halfway nearly." He groans at my words. "Aye, I know. Feels like so long, doesn't it?"

"More time for me to think, I suppose." he huffs. "More time for me to realize how I'm going to royally fuck everything up, more time for me to think of all the ways I could ruin this. This is the best thing that has ever happened to me, it's a miracle. And I'm me, I'm Damiano David, I'm the one who can't keep his fuckin' head on straight no matter how hard I try. God, Zola, with everything in me, I want this to go well. But I do not...I do not trust myself."

"You're spiraling," I whisper as I press my lips to his cheek. His scruff pricks at my skin. "Damiano, baby, you're spiraling. Here, here." I shove my hands into his own. "Deep breaths, Dami. Look at me; I'm here, am I not? Yes, and I'm not going anywhere. I'm right here. Ti amo, I'd never leave you, bello. We will be okay. You are not going to fuck everything up, no matter how much you believe that you will. I have complete faith in you. Complete faith. You have to trust the process here. I am here with you. We will figure this out together." I wrap my arms around his shoulders and press myself into him closer. He sighs into my skin. It feels shaky and uncertain, albeit, so does his entire mood. 

"Ti amo," he repeats the words for what feels like the thousandth time today. "I need to just...shut this thing off." He waves his hand around his face. "For like, thirty seconds, no? Just not think anymore."

"I know, baby. I wish I could do that for you, I do. But I promise we'll get through this. I trust you one thousand percent. You will be the best thing she has ever known. You already are the best thing I have ever known."

We stay like that for what could be minutes or hours or even days. Nothing else is said between us. It's simply silent, him exhaling onto my collarbone and me inhaling the scent of his shampoo. I don't know how much time has passed when Vic appears at my side, gingerly moving hair out of my face and smiling softly at me. "Hey," she sighs. "I've got to take him from you now. I know, I know, I'm sorry, too."

I look down at the boy on my chest, only to find him sound asleep against my skin. Poor thing. This is likely the first time he's had a sound sleep in ages, judging by what he told me. I run a hand through his hair, pressing my lips to his forehead. I know he feels safe here. Damiano does not rest easily, not unless he's certain he's secure. I'm glad he knows he has that in me. 

"Aye," Vic sighs. "Let the poor boy rest. He better not fuck it up tonight."

"We both know he won't." I smile in her direction. Damiano stirs in his sleep. "Thank you, Vic."

"He's been up every night texting me." she giggles. "'Vic, I cannot do this', 'Vic, I'm scared', 'Vic, are you awake?' Hm, it's the first time in years that boy's sent me a 'you up?' text. Keep him safe Zola, alright? I know you will." Vic places a chaste kiss to my forehead before she stalks off. 

Damiano sleeps through all the noise and ruckus the band creates, even the sound of Damiano's own voice on a recording. I know he has a talent for sleeping in the wildest places. Living on the road will cause a person to be like that. I simply continue to play with his hair, occasionally pressing kisses to his skin. Contrary to his behavior just a few moments earlier, he seems calm. At peace. 

I lean up against his body, resting my head on top of his own as he sleeps. I search for any bit of doubt in my body, any sense of negativity, and I find none. I know Damiano will do incredibly. I wouldn't be with him if I didn't. I don't know how to make him believe in himself like that, but by God, I will try. 

**a/n: sorry for the delay, ily all!!**