Frostbite

Chapter 8: Epilogue

Noelle was rambling about Susie again. They were playing video games an hour ago and he couldn't remember how they reached this topic. The game left forgotten, pause menu playing music on loop. A blanket was draped over Berdly's shoulders, overtop long sleeves and a hoodie and jeans. Noelle wore a tank top and pajama pants.

    "I don't get it." Berdly mumbled.

    "I mean- what's not to like? She's so badass! She could totally beat me up- not that she would but like- if she wanted to. But she wouldn't because she's cool! And she's actually kinda nice if you actually get to know her and-"

    "No-" he laughed, "No, that's not.. I'm not questioning your crush, you've made it abundantly clear" he smirked, teasing her.

    "Hey!" Noelle lightly shoved him, faking a pout. He shoved her back, blanket falling away from the commotion. He had to duck away from her next attack to pull it back up again.

    "I mean, I don't get girls."

    "It's 'cause you're gay."

    "What" Berdly stared at her, dumbfounded.

    "Obviously"

    "WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT WAS OBVIOUS THAT I AM GAY, NOELLE!?" Berdly grabbed her by the shoulders, shaking her. Noelle laughed, "HOW DID YOU KNOW BEFORE I DID?!"

    Noelle had to fight back her laughter in order to talk, "I thought you knew?!"

    Berdly let go of her to hide his face in his hands, shielding the creeping flush of embarrassment. Noelle took a deep breath to recover from laughing, which would prove pointless in a moment. "God dammit, I hate that you're right" he whispered into his hands as he slowly dragged them down his face.

    Noelle bursted out laughing again, falling over onto her back, "Takes one to know one-" she wheezed out. Berdly smacked his hands on the bed in mock frustration.

    "Wait wait wait. You're telling me- all this time when I forced myself to pretend to have a crush on any girl that was nice to me, you just LET IT HAPPEN?!"

    "No-" her voice was breathing from laughing, "I haven't know that long, it would of been funny though-"

   "NOELLE!" his anger was playful, a grin twitching into his fake angry scowl. He pulled the blanket over his head, and then reached behind him, feeling blindly around for a pillow to scream in. Noelle seemed to get the hint, placing one in his hand. She watched it disappear into the folds of the fluffy "ghost", shortly followed by a muffled quiet scream.

    "You're so dramatic," Noelle teased.

    "Bold words coming from the one who rambled about her crush from an hour"

    "Shut up! It wasn't an..." she trailed off, looking at the clock, "ok. Listen, maybe it was a while. That doesn't prove anything"

    "Uh huh, yeah, sure it doesn't" Berdly peaked out from under the blanket, only for it to be pulled back down by a salty Noelle.

At some point, they remembered why they paused the game, Noelle was supposed to go get dressed for the day. It had been a sleepover, a rather regular occurrence in the winter when Berdly would hardly leave the house, but a bit more spastic in the warmer months. Noelle visited a lot the first winter.

—

"You don't have to do this." Noelle had just show up at the door, unannounced. Berdly hadn't looked up from his blanket fortress on the bed when he spoke to her.

"Wh-... What are you talking about?" Noelle asked nervously, the platter of gingerbread cookies lowering slightly.

"Just because I'm stuck inside doesn't mean you have to go out of your way to visit me."

"It's not like that-"

"You just visit me out of guilt. Right? You still feel guilty even though you shouldn't and-" The cookies scattered across the floor, and Noelle mumbled a small curse, shocked at her own actions. Berdly watched for a moment before dragging himself out of bed to help clean up. There was a tense silence. "I don't think I've heard you swear before" he choked out nervously.

"And you never will" Noelle forced a smug, playful tone, before quietly adding "I don't visit you out of guilt."

—

They stopped talking about it after that. Sometimes there were some uncomfortable glances, or Susie used badly picked joke followed by an painful cough, or tense group meetings. But by some unspoken rule, they all stopped talking about it. It was easier to pretend things were normal. How could they ever explain what happened?

How could they explain that they felt as if they were still being watched?