Caruso

Sentì il dolore nella musica

The smell of detergent pierced Giulia's nose, worsening her headache. She couldn't close her eyes for a minute because of the intense light, not that she'd be able to anyhow. Whether it was the bleach or the inevitability of something horrible happening, something about the hospital environment always made her feel a bit nauseated. The place was packed with people, including doctors, nurses, patients, former patients, families, and individuals of all ages. It was almost as crowded as the train station in Genova just before Christmas.

She took a seat in front of one of the rooms, but the room behind her remained empty. Alberto was still in the operation room, and she was able to pick up on every single movement the clock on the wall made. She kept replaying the moment when she witnessed Alberto being held by three or four fishermen just a few hours before. He didn't make a single movement, and his clothes were soaked in blood. One of his legs was visibly bent in a way that indicated it was fractured. That image, along with the feeling of being completely incapable of doing anything helpful, persisted in her thoughts like a morning song that she couldn't get out of her mind.

She realised it had been hours since the event and that she had been sitting in the same spot the entire time. While she attempted to escape the thought that the doctor might return at any moment, giving her the verdict, she needed to stretch her legs and perhaps get a cup of coffee in the café at the end of the corridor. She didn't require anything in particular; all she needed was something to keep her from speculating about all the possible outcomes.

"Sono settanta lire" the salesperson said. Giulia paid for her coffee and walked out of the cafeteria back to her seat. She'd take a sip from the paper cup now and then, wishing she was at home, enjoying one of Alberto's espressos. As she approached the unoccupied room, she observed a young man seeking directions from a nurse. The face looked somewhat familiar and as she came even closer, she recognised him.

"Luca?"

The young man turned around, noticing the read-head. His expression was a combination of worried and fatigued. He made a slight pause after the first step, but then he started running towards her, throwing his hands around Giulia. She almost spilled the coffee all over the place. Even though they hadn't seen each other in years, the set of soft curls against her face felt familiar, even cozy. For a moment, they shared their isolation, and within that isolation, uncertainty.

Luca made some space between them. He sought to grab Giulia's attention with his wet eyes. She appeared to be weary. Her skin was pale, and beneath the incandescent hospital lights, it was even paler.

"How is he?" he inquired, fully aware of how much he despised the prospect of negative news.

She shrugged. "He's still in the operation room."

Hearing her voice, which was entirely devoid of any form of grace, made him feel as if winter had arrived early. She shivered in front of him. They hadn't seen each other for so long, and the world was ironic enough for them to be reunited in this terrible place.

They took a seat on the room's front bench. Luca maintained his grip on Giulia's arm. In another scenario, they would share bits and pieces of their lives, talking about what had happened in the previous few years, but neither of them felt compelled to speak at the time. Giulia felt slightly more grounded after Luca's sudden appearance, but it was weird. She ought to have been overjoyed to see him. She should've been wrapping her arms around him and walking him home with Alberto, stopping at the gelateria first, just like in the old days. They'd laugh together as they remembered their two consecutive Portorosso Cup victories, they'd visit Alberto's island and meet Luca's parents, and they'd listen to Daniela's continual musings about how much Luca had grown since the last time she saw him. That, however, was not their reality. Instead, they met in the hospital, concerned that they might not be able to leave together.