Fated to Break | ✓

t h i r t y ~ o n e

Rowan

        The cold wind bites at any exposed skin when I walk out of my lecture hall. In which I learned jack shit.

My hand in my pocket squeezes my phone, willing myself not to check it for the hundredth time today.

I fucked up. I fucked up bad.

I didn't even tell that room full of strangers a half lie I fucking spilled every truth I held in for two straight years. Once I started I couldn't stop and it all came out like the damn holding it all back was broken.

And Olivia heard. How much I'm not sure but enough to make her cry. I can't decide if it was fear or a good emotion when I looked into her ocean eyes as tears poured from them like some of that molten water was leaking from her blue.

I followed her outside after the fear glueing my feet to the floor melted. As fast as I could, I shoved every person out of my way and only made it halfway across the living room as the front door closed behind her. By the time I got outside she was gone. I called and texted her but to no avail. I didn't sleep well that night or the nights after. I'm sluggish and antsy as I thrum my fingers against my leg as I rush through campus to get to my truck.

Now it's been three days and I haven't heard from her or seen her on campus. I thought about going to her apartment but if she hasn't replied to my messages or calls then there's a small chance she'd even answer the door.

What if she feels betrayed because instead of being her friend and supporting her through a break up she thinks I've been waiting for her to be single just to get a chance to stick my dick in her? Like she doesn't matter to me?

That couldn't be farther from the truth.

I want her of course and always have. But I never truly planned on initiating anything with her. Even if she broke up with Lucas I always planned on seeing if she was okay from the glimpses I see of her on campus or maybe just becoming her friend. But that ship has sailed and I started to get my hopes up that maybe a possibility of more was waiting for us. That she was starting to feel a fraction of what I do for her. Her avoiding any contact with me is blurring that hope.

I rush home in a daze, showering in cold water to wake me up some and as a distraction for my anxious thoughts. My mind won't let me think of anything else, a needlelike stinking pain shooting through my skull. Her husky blue eyes flicking to me after Maria called her name and the way her tears fell from her chin as she spun to run from me.

She ran from me.

I walk out of the bathroom with my towel around my waist, water still dripping from my body. Everything feels off. Like I've lost something. Which is ridiculous because I never had anything to lose. She wasn't mine.

My knees hit my mattress and I let myself fall forward, my wet chest hitting my sheets with a muted thud. I'm so tired my body feels like it weighs twice as much as it should but the spinning in my head won't let my body rest.

I flinch, my phone dinging from across the room with an incoming message.

I get up with a grunt, my tired body protesting any movement whatsoever. I lift my phone from my desk, annoyed already knowing Bronson is asking me to go out tonight.