Fated to Break | ✓

e i g h t e e n

Olivia

     Kenna was right. The woman he thinks I am, the woman he's dreaming about is the luckiest woman in the world. The love I feel in his kiss and the way he cradles my hand to his face, it makes my chest seize.

Rowan starts to fall back asleep so I curl my fingers underneath his hand and pinch his cheek. His eyes immediately snap open and he rolls away with his hand holding where I squeezed. "Ow—what the," he slurs, his hand rubbing up and down. He turns back to me and when his daze starts to fade away his eyes widen sheepishly.

Anxiety throbs my chest and I clench my hands against the bed to hide the trembling. This jealousy is toxic, like the ugliest and nastiest disease pouring itself over every inch of kindness and selflessness I had left. It feels like all the parts of myself that I love are being replaced by envy and fear. Fear that I will never be loved like that. Envying the woman that's longed and desired wholeheartedly by a man like Rowan for years. What is it about me that men don't yearn for? I want to be an obsession.

"Heya sleepy head," I whisper, chewing on the inside of my cheek.

Rowan lifts to his elbow, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand. His voice whisper soft, "W-When did you get here?" My stomach somersaults at the half awake ruffled appearance of Rowan Vitali. I'm such a twisted bitch.

I plop down on the mattress next to his legs and I tip my chin to his waist, "You maybe wanna put on some underwear? Possibly some clothes?" I'm joking and feigning a playful smile but mentally punching myself in the face to not take a peek at what's below the covers.

The drowsiness gone, he yanks the sheet to cover himself more and an adorable blush takes over the tips of his ears. "What time is it?" the grain and the rasp in his voice clash. I would laugh at his flustered expression but his morning voice takes all humor out of the moment.

I wince, "Probably too early. But I'm here....and you're naked."

A lopsided smile pulls his lips, "Yeah. I have this thing with the feeling of the clothes on my body when I'm sleeping. It gets too much...y'know?"

"Y-Yeah. I feel the same," I mumble, watching Rowan's adams apple bob.

He sits up fully, his hand releasing the sheet to fall back onto his waist. "You do?"

"Well yeah. I live alone, that's the best part," I say, clenching my teeth so hard I worry they'll crack.

"I'm jealous. I have a lock on my door so that's usually enough," Rowan looks between me and the door and his eyes narrow.

I stand, biting my lip to hold back my smile. "I didn't break in if that's what you think. You didn't lock it. I knocked but you didn't answer," I lie.

"Oh," Rowan runs his hands through his bed head and glances at his alarm clock on his nightstand. "I didn't get much sleep last night, sorry."

My eyes drift down his sinewy chest, the taut muscles of his abdomen, to his lap but I snap them away before they go too far, "I-It's fine, just uh—please get dressed so we can work on our project."

"Right, can you—uh— turn around?"

My gaze flicks to his as my face heats, "Oh, right."