The Way Back (Champions of the Crystal Book 4)

Chapter 13.2

Sabrina wanted to insist on taking the blaster with them, but Ford was firm. "I meant to tell you this earlier. It's strictly prohibited to carry weapons within Palace Royal unless you're on active military duty or have special permission from the Commander in Chief. I imagine she'll give it to you, but she hasn't yet. So we cannot go wandering around with that. Unless of course you'd like to thrill Mira and validate Kashmia's opinions by getting us both arrested in the middle of the night?"

"I imagine that wouldn't be a first for you!" Sabrina sniffed.

"Yes, it would, as a matter of fact," Ford replied. "Here, anyway. And if you're going to be like that, you can go spend the night with Kashmia!"

"I'm sorry," she said after a moment. "I'm just...all on edge. One bad dream after another, and then this...."

"Apology accepted," Ford said. "But if you really feel unsafe, I can call Rudolf to escort us. I've finally got him working again, and he isn't classified as a weapon."

Only, Sabrina suspected, because Mukryilla hasn't found out what he's capable of. But she had the presence of mind not to say it aloud. "No. It's all right. I'm sure if we run into an ambush, I'll enjoy the opportunity of watching you demonstrate your formidable hand-to-hand skills."

Ford chuckled appreciatively. "You," he said, "sound just like one of my sisters."

"Well, someone told me tonight that they all come to you with their problems, so I guess I'm acting like one of them, aren't I?"

"I suppose so. Well, little sister, come along, then." He opened the main door.

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There was something soothing about walking through the crisp, cool night air with Ford's warm hand at the small of her back, not pushing or guiding, just reassuring. Sabrina didn't pay any attention to where they were going until they entered a bedroom and she recognized a statuette as one of Mara's prized souvenirs from her first diplomatic mediation effort. Then she looked around and realized, without doubt, that the room they were standing in was Mara's. Her scent hung lightly in the air, and the furnishings and decorations all spoke of her taste. "Ford—we shouldn't be here!" Sabrina exclaimed.

"Well, it's the fastest way," Ford said. "Not the most direct, but the fastest. And the most secure, come to that. Mother won't mind." He walked over to what looked like an armoire and opened it, pushing aside some clothes. Sabrina saw, to her amazement, a lift door set into the back wall.

"Where—wait a minute." Sabrina took a step back, hugging herself. "I'm not going down into those tunnels. Not tonight. Ford, I can't. I won't."

"It's a very short way," he coaxed.

"No. I can't. You don't understand. Those...those tunnels are hell to me. My father...the Reissians...all the blood, the darkness...."

"This way is well lit," he said. "Sabrina, I'll be right beside you, all the way. There's nothing to be frightened of. Giandrah is very well guarded, I assure you."

"I don't want to go down there."

"Sabrina, you are having these panic attacks because you are trying to repress things you need to remember. I can't help you deal with that up here. But the Conservator of the Chamber is an expert in helping people sort through their minds. He'll help you."

"No. No. I'm not Miahn, Ford. I can't. I can't use the Crystal. I don't even like to be near it. It makes me feel all funny. I don't like it. I can't. I can't." She was aware that her voice was scaling upward, and she swallowed hard, trying to stop it.

Ford took her face in his hands. "Look at me," he said.  She blinked several times, focusing on his bright blue eyes. They were so beautiful, so easy to fall into, she thought. "Good," Ford said. "Now, just take a deep breath. There you go. Let it out. Good. Now again."

Slowly, she calmed down, her heart rate slowing to normal, the thoughts moving in her mind slowing to a crawl. "Now," Ford said, "we're just going for a little walk, just a little way. I'm going to hold your hand the entire time, and while you're with me, nothing can hurt you. Nothing can touch you. Do you understand?"

She nodded dreamily. "Good," he said again, and released her. She felt a momentary surge of panic until he took her hand firmly in his. He waited until she was calm again, then led her into the armoire.

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Sabrina blinked. She didn't recognize this room. How had she gotten here? Where was she?

"Ah, Lady Sabrina," said a voice she didn't know. "I am honored to meet you."

She blinked again, focusing on a stranger. He was an old man, with a gentle face and warm eyes, and he radiated reassurance. Behind him was Ford, looking worried and, strangely, sheepish.
"How—how did I—"

"The Prince brought you to see me," the man said. "My name is Llevandeer, and I am the Conservator of the Chamber. I'm going to help you pull the hurt and fear out of your mind so they won't bother you anymore. It won't hurt, and there is no danger. Do you understand?"

She didn't. She twisted her hands together, tightly, painfully. "Is this...some kind of Miahn thing? You—you know who I am, you must know that I'm not Miahn? Only legally."

"Yes," he said gently. "I know who you are, and what you are. There is nothing to fear. I am going to look very briefly into your mind, and remember for you."

"No!" Sabrina took a step back, her hands flying up as if to ward him off. "No. I don't want anyone else in my mind!"

Llevandeer exchanged glances with Ford. Sabrina suddenly remembered when she'd last been talking to Ford. "I told you no!" she cried. "I told you not to bring me here!"

"Sabrina, you need help," Ford said, coming over to her and taking her arms. "You have to—"

"No! No, I won't!" she shouted, trying to twist out of his grip. He only tightened it.

"Sabrina, stop this!" Ford barked. It surprised her enough to make her pause. "Part of what you're feeling was put there, to make you not want to remember. It's not you. It's not what you really want. And that's why I'm not going to let you run away, no matter how much you beg me to."

Sabrina began to cry, huge, horrible sobs of panic, as pleading words began to spill out of her mouth of their own volition. Ford ignored them, turning her around to face the Conservator, holding her firmly around her waist, her arms pinned to her sides.

Llevandeer looked sadly at her, then at Ford. "I am not sure this is the best way," he said. "She does not know me; she has never felt my touch before. She is not part of us. Any Miahn would know me instantly, through the Crystal. She has no way to trust me, poor child."

"We can't leave her like this," Ford ground out, shifting his stance against Sabrina's frantic struggles.

"You have touched her. You share this memory with her."

"Yes, but the recognition is in her, not in me. I can't reach it."

Llevandeer nodded. "There may be a way. Let me work through you, to reach her. She will feel you, whom she knows, and she will not fight so hard. She must trust you, or you would not have been able to lead her here so easily. I will guide you, and try not to let her sense my presence."

Ford bit his lip. "I...haven't studied this sort of thing. I don't want to hurt her."

Llevandeer sighed. "I do not think we can do anything worse to her than has already been done, my child."

Ford groaned, "Mother's going to kill me when she finds out."

Llevandeer shook his head. "It is the best way, Niavar. Your mother would do this if she were here, but she would find it intensely painful. I think it is best for us all that we spare her, and heal Lady Sabrina now."

Ford sighed, and nodded. He wrapped one arm more firmly around Sabrina and brought the other up to lay a hand on her forehead, pushing her head back against his shoulder. "Ssh," he soothed. "Quietly, now. It's all right. No one will hurt you while I'm here."

Llevandeer laid a hand on Ford's temple, and together they closed their eyes and began to remember.