This Sick World (Bucky X y/n)

Chapter 9

The party wasn't until later that day so I had plenty of time to do what ever I wanted too. I decided to finally do something other than stay in my room all day. I changed into clothes that would be fit for training and walked out of my room. I walked down the big halls and doorways to get to the training room. When I finally got there, nobody was there. Just the way I like it. I walked in and was hit by a wave of cool air. There was punching bags, benches, weights, treadmills, and many other training equipment. I walked over to the punching bags. I wrapped my hands so that I might not destroy my knuckles. I punched my thoughts away. Each punch going harder. My thoughts were clearing but each was being replaced with memories.

FLASHBACK:
I was reading on my favorite chair. The soft cushions were in contact with my dress. My dress was a light purple with flower designs along the bottom part. I had my hair up in tight curls. I was peacefully reading my book when the front door opened and shut. A man with beautiful brown hair walked in. His big blue eyes were tired. His face wore an exhausted and worn expression. He walked over to the couch and flopped down on his stomach. His face was buried in the cushions.

"Hard day, love?" My voice was soft and sympathetic.

"Yes." He mumbled through the couch cushions. I got up and put my book down. I walked over and sat beside him. I put my hand on his back and moved it up and down his back. I could see his body relax at my touch. He turned over on his back and looked up at my eyes. His beautiful blue eyes full of awe. His lips curled up into a soft smile. "It's better now that your here." He whispered. He reached his hand up to my face and pulled me down into a kiss. His soft full lips touching mine.

I removed my lips, leaving them inches a way from his face. "I love you Bucky."

"I love you too." He whispered and pulled me back in to kiss me.

PRESENT TIME:
My heart was cracking. The memories hurt just as bad as the thoughts. My throat was getting tight. The tears crept up into my eyes, pleading to rush down my face. I refused to to let them fall. I punched harder and harder, releasing all my anger and sadness. More memories came flowing into my mind.

FLASHBACK:
I walked through the door of our house. I stopped at the entrance of the door way and set down my brief case. My brown dress was almost the same color as the case. My dress was a light brown with white stitches decorating the whole thing. My hair was in tight curls once again. I walked to the kitchen where I was met with a stressed Bucky. He was sitting at the counter with his head in his hands. His fingers were weaved in his brown hair. I walked behind him and put my hand on his back. "What's wrong James?" He sighed loudly. He turned around to face me. He looked at me with deep sadness in his eyes. He was deeply troubled. "James?" I was worried now.

He reached down into his pocket and pulled out a folded piece of paper and handed it to me. I took it reluctantly and unfolded it. And at that moment my fears were full filled. Everything I didn't want to happen happened. He got drafted. My heart filled with guilt and sadness. The love of my life was being sent to fight against my own country. I had been filtering information to the Russian government since I was thirteen. They knew what was happening over here. But I wasn't the only spy they had over here, they had many, one in each state. If he died I was my fault. I looked up at him with tears in my eyes and my mouth slightly open from shock. He grabbed me and pulled me in for a hug. Tears were streaming down my face now. Not just because I was sad to see him leave, but because of the guilt. I had never had any guilt for other people but now that it was the only person that I loved, the only person that loved me, was being sent away to fight against me, it was heartbreaking. "I promise to come back and when I do we'll get married and start our lives." He whispered while hugging my body. Tears were streaming down my face because I knew he wouldn't be coming home.