My Coming Out Story

"First Love"

In the sixth grade, I started dating a different girl. Her name was sydnie. She lived with us because she was my sisters best friend and we had adopted her. So I was able to be with her every single day. I didn't have feelings for her, but she helped me get through my struggles. The summer of 2013, we were on our way to a public swimming pool, and we had just pulled in. We had been talking about coming out to my mother together, but I couldn't do it. So we pool into the public pool, and this is how the conversation goes:
"Momma, we need to talk," I started crying. I didn't know how to say it. I looked back at Sydnie, and she nodded her head and whispered "I've got you."
"Yes, baby?" my mother replied.
"I'm gay," I cried. I didn't know how to say it. I was very straight forward about it. I started balling.
"No, no you're not. Its just a phase. You've never dated a girl, have you? That is an abomination. No. You're not. Emily Brooke," she started tearing up. She looked straight ahead and looked angry.
"Please don't hate me. Please dont kill me. Please. Don't leave me." I couldn't do it.
She told me not to tell my father. From that day forward, we didn't talk for a few days. She treated me different for months. She didn't love me because when you love someone, you accept every inch of them. You don't just throw them out like they mean nothing. You don't do that. But she did. I was diagnosed with chronic depression, and everything got bad. That summer, sydnie and I broke up. It was a "phase" for her. Then, I was asked out by this girl, Abigail. She lived three hours away, but we skyped every single night. She was my "first love". If you're in love with someone, you crave their presence when you're with a group of friends. You think of them a lot. Its hard to explain because we all have our own definitions. We broke up four months later. She was my first lesson, I'd say.