OC Oneshots

Hurt.

Type: Comfort Angst

Characters Used: Akemi Kurushi-Ishimoto

Ren Ishimoto / Akira Osaku

Tw: Implied Torture, Suicidal Attempt

Word Count: 856 Words

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"I.. I'm so sorry.. I.. I lost feelings for you while coping.."

"Life happens. Who's the lucky guy? Gal? Or non-binary?"

"Akasuki.. She's.. Really sweet. There's also this other guy I like, Asahi... Hoping... To.. Get.. Into.. A.. Poly.."

"That's good, man. Really happy for ya. Y'all are gonna be good for each other."

Even though he didn't remember being Akira.. Ren was still as good as lying to himself as before.

He thought, anyway.

It didn't hurt.

It was natural.

Life went on, even despite.. What was supposedly a while, he figured, since.. Kagen looked different.

He only had the strength in him to take a granola bar and some water, before leaving.

He didn't cry.

But it felt like he would.

It was irrational and he tried to force the thoughts back.. Knowing they were wrong, but couldn't help feeling some slip through the cracks of his barely stable mind as he made his.legs carry him.. Somewhere.

'Was I that meaningless..?'

'How could he..?'

'No. That's selfish. It isn't Kagen's fault.. It was his, wasn't it..?'

Ren had no recollection of the horrors he endured as Akira or.. Before losing who he was.

He didn't remember his own voice screaming out for help until he hurt his vocal cords.

He couldn't remember begging, crying and struggling as he was tortured and tormented until he broke.

He didn't remember crawling through the streets for dear life.. With cuts and wounds all over.

He couldn't remember the unknown desperation and the want to live for.. Someone precious to him.

He never would completely recover the fact that he almost tried to end it, even, but was barely saved as his life was about to go to forfeit.

He wouldn't remember the therapy.

He wouldn't remember his attempt to slowly create another identity to replace the one he had lost.

And he wouldn't recall.. Why things happened as they did.

Because of the disease.. He didn't know what really happened.

It wasn't his fault. And yet..

It was somehow his fault.

And... He'd have to like with it.

Without much a sense of direction or really knowing where he would end up.. Ren found himself.. At the cabins.

And hanging out of one them was.. A familiar face.

Ren felt like he was about to practically burst with anguish as he approached.

"'Kemi! 'Kemi!"

Akemi glanced in the direction his name was called and he instantly tensed up. "..Akira. What is it?"

"A... Akemi, please... It's Ren.." Ren paused in front of the girl, eyes watering.

"W-what..? But you-.."

"Akemi, *please*! It's Ren, I swear..! My name isn't Akira..! I'm your brother and I.. I'm begging you.." He was shaking, his feelings bursting to the surface as he held onto Akemi and started sobbing. "I.. K-Kagen.. H-hurts.. So.. Much.."

"Ak-.. Re-..?" Akemi.. Was so confused. Unsure. And conflicted. The boy who made her kill her friend.. Was really.. Ren..?

There was no way that-

"H-he.. Looks different, 'Kemi. *You* look different. He said he got into a new relationship, said something happened to me and I don't know.. I don't know..! I want to be happy for him.. I wanna.. I wanna support him.."

Her brother's grip tightened and he buried his head further into chest, shaking.

"B-but... I just.. I'm.. So angry. And sad. Not even at him.. But at *me*. I don't...I don't remember anything.. I just.. Remember... Doctors, hospitals.. The last day I went to school when you were sick and just wanting to get back to make sure you felt better.."

..How did *Akira*-..?

No.

She never told anyone..

The day itself was traumatizing enough.. And while Koaru and Niseyama knew she was sick.. Ren specifically would be the one with a more acute recounting of that detail.

After all.. He was snappier than usual that week with everyone. He just wanted to get home to her.

..If that really was true.. Then..

Akemi gently held the crying Ren and looked him in the eye with kind, green eyes.

"...Ren. It's.. Okay to feel this way. It's alright to feel sad.. Angry.. Whatever you feel about their relationship and what's to come." She soothed softly, running a hand through his hair.

"I-it's so.. Dumb. I shouldn't.. I don't have a right to be- I'm being so.. Stupid, I-"

"..Ren. You've been there for me every single step of the way. You've helped me.. Through difficult and even dark hours of my life. You helped me stay sane.. Whole.. And myself. So... Please.."

Akemi squeezed his brother. "..Please. Let me do the same for you. You mean the world to me and more.. And.. Despite everything.. I still.."

Tears ran down his face, green eyes overflowing with emotion. "..I still.. Love you so much, Ren-chan.."

"..A.. Ak-..emi.. I'm sorry.. I-I'm.. I'm sorry.. I-I just.. I-.."

"It's alright. You're safe now. I'll hold you until the hurt goes away. You're safe now.."