Mint and apricots

54. Speaking of that Gabriel

The next morning, Sam was the first to leave his room. He went to the bathroom to take a shower and wash away all the overwhelming emotions of the day before, more than ever needing to take stock of what he had left behind and to find a new energy to start over. He didn't expect to be able to do it with a snap of his fingers – he had so many doubts and questions in his head that he couldn't even summarize them in a single ipothesis – but he had to start somewhere and believed that doing it with a vigorous approach, giving a decisive tear to the page marked "yesterday" to focus on the present, was the best way to conceive his first attempt.

His brilliant strategy, complete with accompanying mantra, was put to the test within just ten minutes.

Once he was dressed, Sam walked towards the living area, breaking through the still inert and quiet air of the apartment. Passing by the closed door of Dean and Castiel's bedroom, he heard them chattering and giggling profusely, then he put two and two together and made the wise decision to hole up in the kitchen – with the hallway door more closed than ever –, turn on the radio and get the volume of the rock classics that were airing up by at least five notches. He was ready to take every precaution possible and imaginable to avoid hearing the details of the birthday present – without taking into account the peace treaty – that his brother was undoubtedly enjoying in the sheets.

He had just finished preparing the pancake dough that he had enriched with dried fruit and dark chocolate chips, when he realized how his every action was unconsciously chasing his memories of Gabriel. The music, the sweets, the table set for a gargantuan breakfast. The resemblance to what he had experienced in the Salisbury Willows apartment a couple of days earlier was obvious and hit him right in the face, making it particularly difficult to stay focused on his goals for the day. It was with enthusiasm that Sam began to cook – placing a pan in which to fry eggs and bacon next to the one for pancakes – trying to keep himself as busy as possible to silence the boring hum of his thoughts.

The arrival, an hour later, of Dean and Castiel, fresh from a shower that Sam suspected was common, was a welcome distraction. Although incredulous at the amount of food prepared by Sam, the couple ate abundantly and Sam was virtuous to the point of holding back any jokes about what type of physical activity had turned their appetite into a black hole. He felt serene in their company, and this was mainly due to their renewed happiness. He certainly wasn't going to make fun of them for being the family he had missed so much. Not so soon, at least.

When there was nothing left but a little fruit and gianduia cream on the table in the dining room, Castiel ordered Dean to close his eyes before putting an envelope under his nose with a bow. The instant Dean opened it and saw two ACDC concert tickets for the following fall, he screamed. Or rather, he would have done it if he hadn't been so busy looking for words that expressed his enthusiasm for him better than the four or five: "Holy shit!" that he let out even before throwing his arms around his husband's neck.

"I was confident you would have liked the idea," Castiel laughed, returning the hug and winking towards Sam's amused expression.

"Are you kidding? It's fantastic! Thanks, Cas," Dean mumbled, letting him go just so he could go back to staring at the tickets with shining eyes.

"I know we'll have the baby," Castiel continued, shrugging, "but the concert is in early December. I thought it might be the perfect opportunity to take advantage of Sam's skills as a nanny."

Dean's boyish smile turned into a sly grin when his younger brother almost choked on his last sip of freshly squeezed orange juice.

"Excuse me, what skills are we talking about exactly?" the twenty-six year old replied, coughing, and Dean gave him a look that was badly divided between the adorable neighbor and the feral killer.