Feeling Blue: A Smurfs Fanfiction

Chapter Eighteen

Within a few hours it was coming up to lunch time. Brainy had no desire to go and face the reality of everysmurf hating him. Gutsy was enjoying the brainiac's company and could tell the other smurf had reluctance to go anywhere. However he also could tell Brainy was getting cold again so staying out too long wasn't a good idea.
"We should head back, laddie," he said.
"I guess so," Brainy agreed. They skated back over to the edge of the lake and took off the skates.
"Looking forward to lunch?" Gutsy asked.
"I might skip it," Brainy admitted, shrugging slightly. The other smurfs likely spent the morning skating on the main lake and would have noticed Gutsy's disappearance. He didn't want Hefty blaming him for Gutsy's absence again, the bruises were already bad enough.

Gutsy sighed, worry forming in him again.
"Brainy, you can't keep skipping meals," he said, the concern his voice apparent clear to even Brainy. "It isn't healthy." He took in the eye bags. "And neither is the sleep you keep skipping."
"I'm fine," Brainy said, trying to fake a smile.
"No, you're not," Gutsy said, gently, making eye contact with Brainy. "In fact I don't know when you last were. It isn't fair on you but I am going to do my smurfing best to try and help you. Even if it is as something as small as getting you to have meals." Brainy didn't know what to feel. Happy that somesmurf cared or petrified at how weird it was. Glad that somesmurf was keeping their eye out for him or worried about how much it would hurt when Gutsy inevitably grew to hate him again.

The two arrived at the lunch hall, queuing together so Brainy wouldn't have to face any judgment before heading to their usual table. Star came and joined them.
"Where were you two, I didn't see you at the lake," she said.
"We went skating somewhere else," Gutsy replied. "It was nice, right Brainy?"
"Mhm," Brainy confirmed with a small smile. Gutsy grinned.
"Want to go to the main lake after lunch?" Star suggested.
"Not really, I'm pretty cold," Brainy replied, not mentioning the more prominent reason. He didn't want to be around everysmurf else.

His own thoughts jinxed him. Two other smurfs – Grouchy and Handy – came over. Brainy wasn't really sure where those two stood on everything. They had been within the group of those who got captured and he was worried they were here to be just as malicious as Hefty. Then again Gutsy seemed to not mind. It was hard to tell as he had barely seen these two since arriving back at the village.
"Gutsy, feel like going smurfboarding? The snow is definitely right for it," Handy offered.
"Sure," Gutsy replied.
"Brainy, feel like it? I hate smurfboarding but we may as well have company," Grouchy offered. The duo were also worried about the smurf after the poison incident but were being more tactful given they could tell he was even doubting Gutsy cared. Smurf, they were pretty sure that Brainy didn't think anysmurf cared given he had ran away.

"No thanks, I'm fine," Brainy replied. "I am really bad at smurfboarding." He was. He barely could make it a metre without falling off and was pretty sure Hefty would sabotage him anyway.
"You sure? I could teach you," Gutsy offered.
"I'm sure," Brainy said. "I think I'll just read." Star, Handy, Grouchy and Gutsy all exchanged looks, trying to think of away to stop the smaller smurf staying isolated as he usually did. They couldn't think of anything though."
"I'll see you at dinner, then," Gutsy said, making a mental reminder to go get Brainy if he did a no show.

They made sure that Hefty didn't follow the brainiac. Grouchy, when Hefty walked past, stuck out his foot and sent the other smurf tumbling to the ground. He had seen him hurting Brainy enough times that payback seemed to be a good idea.
"Oops," he said, nonchalantly. Hefty got back up, scowling at the constantly cynical smurf.
"What gives?!" he yelled.
"An accident," Grouchy said. "I hate accidents." Hefty's scowl worsened but even he could see the others backing Grouchy up. He stormed off.
"That wasn't actually an accident, was it?" Handy asked.
"Nope," Grouchy confirmed, an uncharacteristic smile forming slightly. "Let's go get on with the smurfboarding. I hate waiting around."
"Coming, Star?" Gutsy asked. She shook her head. "You sure?"
"I'm sure, I'll spend the afternoon with Brainy," she replied. She had been out all morning anyway so spending the afternoon where it was warm seemed to be a good idea.

She headed to his mushroom and knocked lightly on the door. Brainy answered.
"Hi Star," he says, adjusting his oversized glasses.
"Can I come in?" she asked. Brainy nodded and moved out of the way so she could. "So... You like him, don't you?"
"Like who?" Brainy asked. Playing dumb wasn't his forte but was almost a necessity.
"You know exactly 'who," she replied with a chuckle. "Gutsy."
"I...ah...No idea what you're talking about?" he asked, scrambling for a response.
"Yes you do!" she exclaimed. "You're blushing a little!"
"I...no I'm not," Brainy protested, burying his face in his hands.
"Yes you are!" she said. "Are you going to tell him?" Brainy gave up on denying it and settled for shaking his head. "Why not?"
"I...just no," he mumbled. "It would be disastrous. Besides, no one would ever like me." A
"That is just incorrect," Star says. "I don't get why anyone wouldn't like my little brother."
"Again, I'm older than you," he said.
"Shush," she replied. "And you are technically smaller than me so 'little' brother works."

Brainy shrugged.
"Really, I think you should tell him," she said. "What's the worst that could happen?"
"Um...besides emotional vulnerability?" he asked, thinking of how much emotions were already being destructive enough as it was without adding this. "Him hating me, going back to being mean like Hefty?"
"I'm pretty sure he likes you too," Star said in an attempt to cheer him up and convince him.
"Unlikely," the brainiac mumbled. "Bordering on impossibility."
"You really need to get a self esteem, Brainy," she said, rolling her eyes. "Has Hefty given you any trouble lately?" An unconvincing shake of the head. "You are a really bad liar, you know that right?"
"I have been told that," Brainy says with a rueful expression.

The snow outside was falling a lot more rapidly, enough to drive the smurfs who were varying in outside activities to retreat back to the village.
"Good bet on staying inside," Star said. "Are you going to at least think about telling him?"
"I have thought about it," Brainy mumbles. "And it is a definite no."
"Brainy-"
"No," he said, bluntly. "I'm not risking it! Besides, my feelings are unimportant."
"Brainy, no they are not," she said. "You really need to start seeing your own worth, plenty of smurfs are worried about you."
"Doubt it," he mumbled.
"Me, Gutsy, Papa, Handy and Grouchy," she listed.
"Grouchy?" Brainy repeated, doubtfully. "Grouchy hates me...Then again I'm pretty sure he hates everysmurf."
"No, he acts like he hates everysmurf," Star corrected. "And he definitely doesn't hate you."

Brainy shot her a disbelieving look.
"I'm serious, Brainy," she said. "Only idiots would hate you."
"That's most of the village," Brainy muttered.
"And they're idiots," she stated. "For smurf's sake, their main issue with you is how you always give advice or act like you're always right. You haven't done that the entire time I've been here and according to Gutsy it has been years."
"But by being 'me' I ruined the chances of smurfs not hating me, even years later," Brainy replied. He didn't emote to that: he had long since gotten used to being unlikable.

They spent the afternoon playing board games, Star not pushing any further with the Gutsy situation given Brainy was clearly doubtful about it. Brainy won the ones that had more strategy such as draughts, the chance ones seemed to be more weighted to Star's favour. Even his luck with board games wasn't particularly great. Dinner eventually came around.
"You coming?" Star asked: like Gutsy she had noted that Brainy often skipped meals and was getting concerned.
"Yes." The reluctance in his voice was pretty apparent: he was only going because of Gutsy's comment about making sure he ate meals. He was pretty sure if he tried to skip it then Gutsy would just come get him.

The snow was now nearly knee deep except on the path and it was well in the minuses.
"Think it'll warm up soon?" Star asked.
"It'll probably get colder before it gets warmer," Brainy replied, doubting that actually saying things he knew was a good idea given it could come across as 'showing off'.
"Great," Star said with a small eye roll. "I like the snow as much as the next smurf but there is a limit."
"I quite like snow..." Brainy murmured, watching the snowflakes form perfect layers of untouched snow, the feeling of calm not yet retreating even as they headed to where everysmurf else was.