I'm Broken

Untidy

I am calmly read a book on the bench by my window as the rain beats down on it hard. It is one of my favorite things to do when I just need to take a break from this reality. Everything has been so hectic that I can barely find the time to just sit down and think. Reading to me is like an escape from the horrid place that I am stuck living in. Everything reeks of alcohol and piss with a hit of cigarette smoke. I hated it, it was barely livable.

I flip the pages of my book and go deeper and deeper into the text on the coffee colored paper. I take my time to carefully skim each sentence and understand what the author was trying to get across. I was finally enjoying my self and not having worried thoughts. Just then, I heard the awful sound of my dad's tires coming to a stop in our driveway. Goosebumps trail up my skin as I watch him stumble and trip his way over the grass to get to the door.

"ABBY!" He yelled. The sudden boom of his voice echoing through the halls was terrifying.

"Yes dad?"

"Get the HELL DOWN HERE, NOW!" He screams. I have no idea what I have done for him to come home yelling at me. I had finished everything on the list that he left me this morning.

"What is this?" he asked. I looked at the white envelope in his hand. I noticed that it had my schools name on it and it said the word ' REPORT CARD'.

"You have four D's and two F's, WHAT IS THE FUCKING PROMBLEM! WHY ARE YOU SO DAMN STUPID JUST DO YOUR WORK! DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO CONSTANTLY HAVE TO PUT UP WITH YOU AND THIS DUMB BULLSHIT YOU ALLWAYS PULL!?" As he scream at me I stayed silent while looking down. I could not bring myself to look at him in his face for that fact I might start bawling.

"I am sorry dad.

"You're sorry? IS THAT ALL YOU CAN SAY!? WHY DID I EVER AGREE TO ADOPTING SUCH A DUMB IDIOT LIKE YOU!"

"I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU WANT ME TO DO IT'S NOT MY FAULT!"

" NO ABBY EVERYTHING IS YOUR FAULT! IF IT WASN'T FOR YOU CLARA WOULD STILL BE HERE!"

"WILL YOU STOP BLAMING ME FOR MOM'S PASSING! YOU CHEATED ON HER!" Just then, a bright red mark slowly appears on my left cheek. It burns. It burns like hell, but I stay quiet. I don't cry, nor do I even bother to speak.

"Never talk to me like that, you UNDERSTAND YOU FUCKING BRAT!?" he walks off and leaves me alone in the kitchen.

Tears roll down my right cheek first, then my left. The heat emitting from my body would be enough to start a fire. My knees go weak until they finally give out letting me hit the cold damp floor. Even though I am in pain, my sobs stay silent. Not a sound dares to leave my quivering lips as I cry into my last clean hoodie.

I pick myself of the ground, walking towards the door I grab my jacket and leave the house. He won't worry about where I have been, he won't even care. He never has. As my feet drag along the wet concrete, splashing in every puddle that comes across my path, cars pass me by on the road, all of them with a set destination and goals they are headed for. But for me, I don't know where I am going. I let me feet lead the way as my mind is clouded with thoughts from earlier events. The slapping, the yelling. As I recall every word that was exchanged, I soon again start to cry. People on the sidewalk watch as my gloomy figure is passing by with nothing but teary eyes and a damp jacket.

I look up after walking for some time and realize where my feet had lead me to. I wipe my tears and push the door open to reveal the secretary sitting at the front desk. She is a calmer looking lady and fairly young. She wears her hair in a low bun and has circular glasses that frame her heart shaped face.

"Oh my gosh Abby! Why are you so damp!?" She says in a panic. I was a regular at this studio so the fact that she knows my name wasn't unusual. she rushes over to me with a towel and sits me down on the couch located in the front lobby.

"Things at home weren't going so great today. It's been hectic."

"Ok but that never means to come out of the house without the proper clothes on, you should know better."

"I know, and I am sorry but you know how he is, it was one of those days."

"Well your room is being occupied by someone new, I think me might be a trannie under that new company that just merged." She said with an amused face. I walk down the hall where you see all the different rooms, ranging from the biggest to the smallest. At the end of the hallway was mine. Or what I had proclaimed to be mine. I walk up closer to the door and peer through the little glass window that is on it. I could see a boy maybe around my age dancing to some music. He looked like he was having a hard time trying to pick up the choreography and kept grunting when he got a move wrong. "I wonder if he has been here for sometime now?"

He must have heard me because as soon as I said it, he starting heading toward the door. I turn around to quickly walk away but my wrist was grabbed.

"Are you stalking me?"

"What? Why the hell would I stalk you?"

"I know your kind of people. You crazy fans always like to hunt me down and put out my personal business."

" First off, let go of me. Second, I don't have a clue of who you are so don't think to highly of your self." I couldn't believe this guy. Thinking that I actually have the time to be stalking someone as disrespectful as him.

"You expect me to believe that? You don't even look like you have a singular athletic bone in your body. You are so skinny I can basically tell for my self."

"Are you really body shaming me right now?" Furious of what he said I take a step closer so I can hear him clearly. "You are not that welly built your self sir! As big as you are I thought they had placed a damn animal in the room." He looks away from me and laughs. How can he think that this is a joke? If all trannies are like this then I never want to be one.

"Okay so what do you want? An autograph? A picture?" He says while taking my phone from my hand.

"Um, No!" I say while snatching it back. By this point I am amazed at how stuck up this trannie is. Like yeah, I understand that me looking through the window while he was practicing was a bit weird. But for him to go on a rampage and think I was one of his enraged toxic fans, was uncalled for.

"Look just get out of here if you are going to lie. Adults like me actually have work to do." He said while turning around to walk back to the room.

*WHACK*

"OW!" He said as he grabs the back of his neck and turns around to face me.

"Lets get one thing straight, I am not a kid. Don't talk to me as if I am one, I am 19 years old." I turn around and walk away from him before he could 'even say anything. It was still raining outside, but I was way too mad to care about it. Jerks like him are people that won't get far in life. On my walk home I am mostly in my head. I am so deep into my thoughts, that I barely noticed I made it home already. I walk inside and head straight to my room. I kick off my shoes and change into some clean clothing, throwing the dirty ones in the hamper. I switch of the light and shut my eyes, dreaming about a world far away from here where there was no dad, no trannies, and no hardships. Everything was so simple and easy.