How can you miss something you've never had? What has never been yours? These emotions were ridiculous. He was just a guest. He has always been just a guest. How could he be anything else? His parents were long gone. His sister too. Home is not a place. It's the feeling of love when you are with your family. But what about a boy who doesn't have anyone? Boy who is in this world all alone? Yes, Alice and James did take him under their roof but for him it just wasn't it. It didn't feel like home. On the other hand, he has no idea what home is supposed to feel like. Safe, probably. Did he feel safe with them? Not really. The sleepless nights or like he winced every time he heard the front door shut... No, he didn't feel safe at all.
"You okay?" Lucas felt Asher's hand on his shoulder. The other boy was careful almost like he was afraid that Lucas would loose it if he won't be careful enough.
"Yeah... I guess..." Funny how even he didn't belive himself. Asher sat down next to him with concern written all over his face. Lucas still couldn't quite understant why the other boy cared. In past he hurt him...Pretty bad. But here he was. Right next to him with hand on his shoulder, and those beautiful blue eyes fixed on his face. Lucas knew what he was looking for. He's been looking for some proof that Lucas is faking it. That he is not really okay, that he is keeping his emotions under control and don't want to show them. He also knew that he won't find what he is looking for. Not because he is too good at pretending but beause he really is okay. Somewhere deep down...he is.
"You sure?" He really didn't deserve this boy. Lucas looked at him for the first time in the last five hours. He had bags under his eyes and his hair was complete mess but he never looked so beautiful. Lucas let out a long sigh and put his head on Asher's shoulder who automatically wrapped his arms around him and pulled him closer. And Luces? First time in his life, he felt safe. In arms of his love, person he trusts the most. Maybe, just maybe, Asher was his home. Maybe he had someone in this world.
After awhile he nodded.
"I'm good." Lucas' voice broke and the first tear found its way to his cheeks.
Like he said... He is too good at pretending. Sometimes he can even fool himself. Like right now. Because there was no way in hell that he was fine. Ahser knew. So he just held him close and whispered sweet words to his ear.
"I just miss them."
How can you miss something you've never had? What has never been yours? Just like that. They weren't his family, they weren't his home. But he felt homesick anyway.
YOU ARE READING
It must be hell inside your head
Cerita Pendek"It must be hell inside your head." "At times." Collection of chapters that will hopefuly be part of some book one day. I'm not a native speaker.
