To Let Go

2

"Jimin, listen to me please." The latter requested. Jimin didn't listen to him. The angry male dashed inside their apartment without looking back. He was so frustrated and mostly angry. Jungkook considered giving up on their daughter? How can he?

"Jimin!" Jungkook raised his voice, holding jimin down by his shoulders, making him look straight into jungkook's eyes. And jungkook could see jimin can't accept the fact.

"Listen to me, baby. We have to calm in this situation." Jungkook softly spoke to him. Jimin was pregnant, so much stress would be bad for him. Call jungkook selfish or biased, he did give his top priority to their coming child more. As a father he has done everything he can for soohee and now it's out of his reach.

And it won't be long before soohee's body will give up just like her mind. One day he has to accept it whether he likes it or not. Choice wasn't a thing for them. They had to make a decision soon.

"Listen to what?! How can you ask me to kill my own daughter?!" Jimin lashed out with tears brimming in his eyes. Jungkook sighed hard. He made jimin sit on the couch and handed him water.

"It's painful for soohee, jimin. Do you think those machines are comfortable? Our daughter is suffering. Although she can't speak, it's showing in her physical state." He reasoned out. And each word hurt like a dragger. This whole conversation, jungkook has been preparing for so long but at the moment it seemed so hard. He badly wanted to escape reality.

Jimin didn't respond.

"I know giving up on her is very hard for you. Believe me it's just as hard for me. But we can't keep torturing her soul like this. She has given up, she wants to go, jimin." The tear that escaped jungkook's eyes landed right on their conjoined hands. And for a second jimin looked at his husband who looked so broken.

And for the first time in a while he saw how tired jungkook was. He has been so focused on soohee that he didn't even notice jungkook's health. The male looked visibly exhausted yearning for rest. But with their current financial status, he can't afford to take a break. If he does take a break, it will mean they can't pay the hospital bills.

"Soohee has been so brave. We must acknowledge her bravery. But it's time we let her go." Jungkook turned to jimin to see him already staring at him. And this time he couldn't control himself.

The latter broke down like a child. Laying his head on jimin's shoulder, jungkook cried so hard. It hurt so much. He has been holding in for so long. Everytime he saw soohee unconscious in that hospital cell, he felt like taking her to home and a futile hope grows that she will heal at home with their love. If only it was really like that.

The nights were always so long. None of them could sleep peacefully. Jimin always stayed alert hoping a call would come from the hospital. And jungkook could never fall asleep no matter how much he tried. Their peaceful lives have been long forgotten.

"I am so sorry. Jimin, I am so incapable. I can't even save my own daughter." Jungkook admitted, his heart ached as he spoke. It felt like he was walking on thin ice trying to maintain their lives. And his exit was nowhere.

"It's not your fault." Jimin calmly replied, softly ruffling jungkook's brown locks. The night suddenly seemed less tiring. They remained silent after that, calmly listening to the night breeze. Both knew that if they spoke again, it will only be more glum. And maybe if they remain silent, their baby girl would come upto them again like she did before whenever the two had arguments and gave each other the silent treatment.

If only things could go back to how it was before. If only their daughter didn't have cancer. If only they had been more careful.

In the end these if onlys never happen. What has already happened cannot be changed. Life is unpredictable, one moment it's a bed full of roses and the next moment you are lying among thorns fighting for life.

Slowly they fell asleep in each other's embrace on the sofa. The world shut down for them just for a moment and it was peaceful for the time being. But what could these few hours of peace mean, tomorrow is going to be same.

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